Sinister: I'm furious! I'm miserable!! I'm in love!!!

[Fernando Brito]

I'm soooo pissed!!! How things change... from one minute to another! It's
so unfair! It's like a joke! Just now, when I'm in the middle of so many
troubles... look what happened to me...
Less than 5 minutes after I clicked the Send button to send you my last
post, and to send a "whining" mail to S. Gazzetti, this beautiful, smart,
funny girl knocked on my door.... she's the girl who will replace me in my
current flat. And she's so, so, sooo cute... and she likes Belle and
Sebastian! She's the first "flesh and bone" person I've ever known that
likes Belle and Sebastian!!!
She's already moved to our flat, she couldn't wait any longer because she
was living in her (AAARRRGGHHHH!!!) boyfriend's house, along with his
parents! And we spent the whole Sunday afternoon and evening talking,
just we two, and she's great! I think she's the coolest person I've ever
met! She's a journalist! A TV reporter! Well, actually she's a Web reporter
because her TV channel is only on the web, it's like a normal TV station,
not like those "TV-on-demand" sites, but it's on the web.
And she called me to go out with her to the coolest indie party in Sao
Paulo, which I always wanted to go but never had anyone to go with, and I
NEVER go out all by myself!
And she knows all the indie-stars in the city, all the DJs, the columnists,
all these cool people! (yes, I'm being shallow! so what?)
And she wears glasses, which makes a pretty woman even more beautiful!
So... I don't wanna go anymore! I don't want to leave my flat!!! But I have
to, because she is sleeping in my roomie's bedroom and he is sleeping in
the living room. It's very uncomfortable for both.
I wish I could take her along with me to my new flat and leave my boring
new flatmate with the old one! But she has a boyfriend and it was her
boyfriend who told her to move to my current flat, because her boyfriend
and my current flatmate are partners in a computers company, so it would be
a little suspect if I asked her to move to my new place!
I'm feeling awful! I don't have words in portuguese to describe how I'm
feeling, what to say in english?!
And it's not the first time it happens to me... about five years ago I had
the same trouble... I fell in love with my best friend's girl, she was a
medical doctor, and she was so smart and nice as well... but I had to
forget about her, for the sake of my friendship! And I know she liked me
too, because when they broke up (I think in part because of me!) she came
running to see me, but then I just didn't feel anything anymore, and I
suspected she was trying to use me, you know? So in the end nothing
happened! And now it's quite the same, a little better because I don't have
to worry about friendship, and in fact I already hate her boyfriend! But
anyway I don't want another Jonathan David episode in my life!!
I'm writing this at work and I'm holding my mouth shut because now all I
want to do is shout! Scream out loud. I'm in a bestial rage, I don't know
if I've ever felt this way before!
I think if I saw her boyfriend now I would punch him with all my force,
though I know I wouldn't hurt him, he's two times larger than I.... But
she's so small... They have nothing in common, she likes B&S, he likes
Sepultura... she likes to read books, he likes to play video games... she
has short hair, he looks like a guy from Iron Maiden...
I'm so confused and distracted... I didn't work at all today! It's 17:00
and I haven't written one line of code yet!
All I want is to go home and see her...

...and find a way to solve this bloody situation.


Fernando Brito



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