Sinister: I chafe, you chafe, he/she/it chafes!

[Mark Casarotto]

Ho, Sinister,

I have been repeating the words "spiders and cabbages"
to myself for the last few minutes while muh computer,
which is currently occupied in the ultra-important
task of downloading B&S Peel tracks, brings up the
Yahoo Compose Message screen. I am here to talk to you
about spiders and cabbages, though a few weeks ago I
also kept repeating the word "spiders" to myself, only
to forget at the last moment what I was going to post
about. Maybe the discomfiting effects of heroin, I
don't know. 

So, cabbages. They were mentioned in the last digest
by someone, whose name I can't remember even though I
only read it a few minutes ago. Ruth? Maybe, apologies
if not. This mystery person reminded me of my
interview for Big School, at the age of 13. This
involved lunch with the headmaster, a dapper, learned
little man who was not to be daunted by the most
gigantic word in the dictionary. Ahem.

All I could talk about was cabbages. In one of those
terrible moments when you find yourself making a
ridiculous statement ("yes, I love gardening too!"),
and then find the unwelcome tangent stretching out
before you like an increasingly wobbly tightrope, I
deceided to tell him all about the cabbages I was
growing. Small and tight, they were, but healthy and
sure to be delicious! Even me at 13 knew what a fool I
was making of myself.

Sigh.

Onto spiders, which may be no more interesting but
which is at least a little more up to date. For a
couple of weeks before I went on holiday, I noticed a
smallish spider sitting, unmoving, on my lamp shade
above my bed. I was worried about it getting hungry,
until I noticed it was sitting over a clutch of eggs.

When I got back from holidays yesterday, I found the
poor spider, crunched up and lifeless, on my duvet.
Excitedly, I scrutinised the lamp, and found SEVEN
tiny spiders attached to it! A couple of them got a
bit frisky, and started abseiling like the cutest
little marines, so I moved them into a shady corner to
start their spidery lives. But the other five are
still there. At this point, I am wondering if the
urban legend about how many spiders the average human
eats in a lifetime is actually true, and whether I
might end up managing it in a one-night orgy of
arachnid-munching...

(which idly reminded me that Italian for peanut is
"arachido", which is frankly nicer to munch, but you
could easily get the two confused)

Woo! Just listened to "Desperation made a Fool out of
Me" from the Peel session. I wish I was called Richard
- the whole band singing a song for me and me alone!
If I was called Richard, which I'm not. Sigh.

My holiday did inspire me to write lots more in my
blog, though. Um, I haven't yet, but I'm starting
tonight, then keeping aside various hilarious
anecdotes to get me through the next few barren
months. So if you want to have a look, please visit
http://www.joannou.net/biondino and leave me lots of
comments, then add it to your favourites. Please?

Finally, much love to the delightful Oon, who I was
lucky enough to see all too briefly on her recent
trip. Ancient ex-Sinister people - take inspiration
from her posts and come back yoursrelves, you gnarled
buggers!

Alright then,
Mark xxx



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