Sinister: Is that your car on fire or are you just pleased to see me?

[Laura Llew]

DISCLAIMER:
If you're looking for a sinister post full of wit, charm and fascinating 
insights to current conversation topics -- one whose levity and mirth will 
have you rolling in the proverbial aisle while holding your sides as they 
ache as you laugh and laugh, then you'd be advised to delete this one. This 
is a dreadfully boring dismal post whose only use might be to cure a case of 
insomnia or to nurse an illogical fear of catching beri beri. Unless you 
want to find yourself in the throes of mindless boredom with your nails 
scratching out your eyes, while making pained noises like the time you tried 
to learn to play the trumpet for the middle school band, I suggest that you 
very quickly move to the next button and go find another post to read or 
another source of amusement, such as making small animals out of 
pipecleaners and popsicle sticks just as an excuse for you to play with the 
rubber cement.

G GYRATIONS:
"August 13th - G flees from shame of humiliating picnic behaviour, gets on 
plane. Arrives Charlotte, meets the Llew, collapses and dies at tragically 
young age having achieved all remaining ambitions."

At first I was frightened at the aspect of having a dead English boy to come 
stay with me but then I mused - in Dorothy Parkeresque fashion - will I even 
be able to tell the difference? One never knows with the British. It's no 
matter since for his birthday - which he'll have while here - I'm going to 
make him a red velvet tombstone birthday cake! Oh yes. Personally, I would 
die for such a treat. I'm trying to encourage other people to come and 
celebrate with us and so far have promises from people driving down from DC, 
over from Chapel Hill, and there's one boy who *is* coming up from Georgia 
even if I have to employ a grappling hook and a truck driver named Earl to 
help me get him here. The day of excitement will be Sunday August 18th. I 
think you all should send presents to him here. I promise I won't rifle 
through them, pick out the ones I like for myself, and leave him with only 
things like a copy of Fry's "The Liar". I swear! (and not just because 
that's the effect Fry's style has on me either.)

SELMA BLAIR HAS A MULLET AND I DON'T FEEL SO WELL MYSELF:
After hearing everyone only say comments to the effect of, "I've seen better 
film on teeth!", I finally watched Storytelling telling the dirty hippie as 
we rented it, "From everything I've heard, this is wretched and will suck 
but I want to see it anyway" so that she had trouble discerning if I was 
referring to the movie or her music collection.  I wasn't aware until 
recently that the third part of the movie which featured most of the B&S 
music was completely edited out so I feel somewhat cheated. It's not as if I 
expected much which is exactly what I received (kind of like the scene where 
"The State I Am In" is playing, eh?). However, the very last scene changed 
the entire movie for me and I ended up loving it! I also adore where the 
title of "Fuck This Shit" came from. Plus, it was nice to see Selma Blair 
before she went all scary mulleted on the world. What's a pretty girl like 
her doing with a mullet like that?

TAPE TWEE
In other Sinister related news, I finally made and received my mix tape for 
the tape tree. Huge public props to Aruni for setting that up for us. Also, 
massive love out to Miss Maddie Minx giver of ace hip flasks who might want 
to avoid ever meeting me as I plan to greet her with a tackle and snogs, 
Bill "Your posts are OK but they'd be better if they'd mention how sexy and 
fantastic I am" Harris, Jay Eckerd who is absolutely enchanting, all the 
suckahs who said they wanted to meet me on the Sinister questionnaire, and 
Miss Flannery who is currently showing her love for me by biting at my 
ankles in want of a walk.

until supplies last,
Laura

PS -  I don't know what he's smoking but Rouss did send me some Scottish 
whiskey so at least I know what he's drinking. Of course, he also sent me a 
small stuffed sheep and mentioned shagging. I hope I'm supposed to draw no 
conclusions from that.

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