Sinister: when the open road is closing in

[rrrrobyn]

about all those things you said,

i've been thinking. 

oh god, it's a hazy late-summer morning. i feel a melancholy coming
on. nooooooo! 

stevie t's post made me cry a bit. i can't even embellish on it.
thanks, stevie. and ken's faq post made me lafff. and there were also
other posts, of course, that made for other emotions. aw, i luf yous
guys sooo mush. :)

so, as if to help the melancholy go full-blown systemic, i have been
packing. and have thrown out: 11 pairs of old shoes (still have 19
pairs left, not to worry), 6 boxes full of old papers and pamphlets
and stuff i looked at thinking,"'why the hell would i keep this? is
there some kind of sentiment attached to this club flyer? is there a
memory associated with this mutual funds pamphlet?" NO! purge, purge,
purge. so that's good. but then i look around my little apartment and
get sentimental again - this is my first apartment and has been
called by friends "a real professional single girl apartment." aw. i
think this is only b/c i have a desk area ("professional"). otherwise
all the furniture is hand-me-downs and it's not like i don't have
band posters up on the walls still (chosen wisely, of course, i.e.,
beautiful little b&w aislers set poster.) aw. sigh.

how long did i spend downloading the 'new' belle and sebastian songs?
let's just say i went shopping. but when i came back, there was new
b&s waiting for me. and it was jangly, poppy, birthday-y, and good :)
hurrah for radio! hurrah for the internet! (i'm really into cheering
the latter lately. internet, sometimes i think you are a means to all
my ends.)

oh, sorry, the melancholy. i have exactly two weeks left in
vancouver. ow, that sentence makes my heart palpitate. you know that
sense of impending 'something', not necessarily doom, but something
that makes you look in your daytimer to check if the days are marked
by momentus occasions, only to realize there's nothing momentus
written at all? only: 'dinner with soandso', 'suchandsuch concert',
'plane to montreal, 11:30'. i should put exclamation marks and
asterisks next to these things. the marks of 'important things'.
everything seems both important and trivial right now. bah! to
perspective, apparently.

but it might not all matter b/c greg's 'gorgeous' riddle is going to
be the death of me anyway. but, before i die, i will direct your eyes
to some photos of the may 2002 brighton picnic (and a few of
vancouver): http://photos.yahoo.com/rfadden . people look cute in
them. there are none of me. there are some of the ocean. some of them
are blurry; i have no idea why...

yours in resurgent happiness,
robyn

=====
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright
~~~
Robyn Fadden    rfadden at yahoo.com    Vancouver, BC

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