Sinister: You missed a bit...

[stout robin]

Hello Sinisterines!

rockin' Rrrobyn said: <<i saw mum last night>>

I saw mum last week. And dad, too. They're alright,
you know. Dad's been doing a bit of wallpapering, and
mum's runner beans are looking fantastic...

Seriously, I think múm are okay, but I'm a bit annoyed
that I went off and bought the album after hearing
their last single on the radio. It's a case of the
single being better than the whole of the rest of the
album, I think, and I should have payed more attention
to the girl in the record shop who told me exactly the
same when I bought it. It's not bad, just a bit
wallpapery. And as we know, wallpaper is for dads.

++

In the birthday spirit, I've been looking at a few ink
polaroids. Here's the oldest one I could find:

Here's Ailsa and Kevan and Arantxa and me, in chalet
number 650. Everyone's looking a little suprised and
confused because they've never met before. Well, in
Ailsa's case the expression's more drunk and confused,
and she's holding a glass of what I think was called
String Bean Gin. There are other people here too, on
the sofabed in the background, but they've been a bit
smudged by beer drops or tear drops, I don't know
which. A lot happened that night before the polaroid
had a chance to dry.

++

Lucy and Mark were talking about SPIDERS! Well, my job
involves looking at patent applications and
occasionally someone 
comes across one that’s funny and emails it to
everyone. The other day 
a 
girl who works in the baths, showers and toilets
department found a mini 
ladder 
with a suction pad which sticks to the inside of a
bath so that spiders 
can 
climb out in safety. Aww! It’s so sweet!

Here’s an artist's impression of the spider ladder at
work in a dramatic spider rescue!

1.

|_|
|_| <=ladder
| |
 *  <=scared spider

(O) <=plughole

2.

|_|
|*| <=spider in dramatic rescue action
|¯| <=ladder

(O) <=plughole

3.

 *  <=happy spider!
|_|
|_| <=ladder
| |

(O) <=plughole


hooray!

++

Do you ever think of funny things to say just when
it’s too late? This 
is 
what happened to me today, when I met Paul outside the
tea room;

P: Do you know what I think that stain on the floor
is?

Me: Tea?

P: No

Me: Erm...(I hate it when people make you guess stuff
when they know 
you 
won’t be able to.) Err... Tea?

P: Rat urine!

Me: Eh?

P: Yeah, we had rats in our house once and it looked
just like that.

Me: But how do they possibly get up here, when we’re
on the second 
floor? I 
mean they can’t catch the lift, can they? They won’t
be able to reach 
the 
buttons.

P: (enigmatically) Maybe they know someone on the
inside!

Paul goes off to make a cup of tea and I’m left
standing in the 
corridor.

Me: Yeah, maybe they have FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES! HA
HA HA! Oh! He’s 
gone! 
Hello boss! Er, yes, funny things these... these,
erm... bye then!

Grrr!!!

Do you see? FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES! Ha ha!

Er, bye

Robin x


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Everything you'll ever need on one web page
from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts
http://uk.my.yahoo.com
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+