Sinister: What was the greatest thing before sliced bread was invented?

[Gardiner, Stuart]

Summer's almost over. Does anyone know where it goes? Distressingly, I have
failed to make it to a single picnic this summer. Which on past experience
makes them more enjoyable for everyone else, but reduces the average
drunkenness. This Sunday, I'll be thinking of all of you in your red
knickers. Except Ken.


Time to join the bandwagon with a few ink polaroids. (If anyone knows what
the hell a bandwagon is, or how you would actually go about joining one,
please tell us, I've often wondered. Well, not exactly often, but
ocasionally. It's not really the biggest question that keep me awake at
night. But once or twice, at least.)

** This one is from the first time I saw B&S live - Manchester, Christmas
'97. In between the two gigs they played on the Sunday. I'm walking around
Manchester town centre with the first sinisterines I'd ever met, who insist
on reminding me every few minutes that I'm a bit taller than them.
Especially Julia. We've just noticed a big Ferris Wheel down one of the
streets leading away from the Town Hall. From the top you can see right
across Manchester. What joy.

News item of the week: the Queen telling Alan Titchmarsh "You've given a lot
of women a lot of pleasure". Really.

** This one was taken on one of the several times I have missed the last
train home after a Sinister get-together. We're on the roof of the Poetry
Cafe in London in summer '98. Just behind me are Isobel and Wee Chris.
Mick's off somewhere with an ebulient admirer who was on this list at the
time. You can't really see much else, because it was 2am and it was dark.

I am also indebted to the Independent on Sunday for providing the following
list of genuine bird names: the Bare-Faced Go-Away Bird, the Invisible Rail,
the Double-Eyed Fig-Parrot, the Blue-Knobbed Curassow, the Oleaginous
Mountain Tanager, the Obscure Berrypicker, the Carbonated Sierra Finch, the
Rosy-Faced Lovebird, and my favourite, the Agile Tit-Tyrant. Of course, this
has absolutely nothing to do with Belle and Sebastian (apart from giving
them potential new lyrics), they just sound good.

** This one was taken in a park in South-East London. Lying on the grass,
next to the kiddies' playground. On the left you can see Stevie Trousers
getting along well with an Irish lass. And trying to get on even better with
her. It's a bit blurry, because I was ratarsed.

As I have got older, I thought music had lost it's power to amaze me, to
blow me away. Then, late last Friday night, I was watching an Elvis tribute
program on BBC1, featuring the likes of Liberty X and Darren Hayes doing
appalling covers of his songs. Suddenly, the Flaming Lips appear; and do a
half-tempo, psychadelic cover of "Suspicious Minds". One of the most bizarre
things I've heard in ages, and hence, one of the best.

** This one was taken outside the Spread Eagle in Camden, after a
particularly beery afternoon on Primrose Hill. Actually, it's not quite
outside the Spread Eagle, because we'd been kicked off the pavement for
making too much noise. So it's on the pavement opposite instead. Rob has
just pulled out his guitar, and we're all singing along to Modern Rock Song.
Shortly after this was taken, a person walking past said "Hey, you're Belle
and Sebastian" and asked for an autograph.

Second news item of the week: the president of Turkmenistan, one week after
renaming all the months of the year after himself and his family, has now
issued an edict officially extending adolescence to the age of 25, and
postponing old age until 85 (a mere 25 years after the average
life-expectancy in his country). And you thought George Bush was insane.

** This one was taken on the beach in Scarborough last summer. Most of the
people you can see are trying desperately to play it cool and pretend
they're not bothered about the fact that they're talking to members of B&S.
Meanwhile, I'm digging a hollow in the sand to stand in so that I can speak
to Katrina without bending over too much.

Still to come: ink polaroids from B&S playing a gig at The Globe Theatre in
London (go on, you know you want to), and at next year's Glastonbury...


Big Stu


Current favourite song of the year: 'Royal In The Afternoon' from the new
Whitlams album (you didn't think I'd let you forget them, did you?). The
kind of song B&S should be writing and getting into the Top 10 with. Go
download it now...


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