Sinister: 'Come to me' said Jesus, and i will redeem you.

[the potting shed]

fellow children of Our Lord,

my name is Sister Janice Slejj.

  no, i am not from scandinavia, i am from Our God's Good Earth.  my
particular part of it, at the moment, is called birmingham.

before The Hand Of The Lord brought me here, it was my pleasure to Serve in
a convent just to the east of -

well, geographical significance does not matter.  in His eyes, we are all
one.

children, i want to tell you a story.  i shall begin now:

once upon a time, there was a man named matthew.  it was his appointment in
society to collect taxes from those around him.  this -

excuse me, i have a visitor.
i shall return presently, with an edifying story that i am sure will bring
Light to your day.

--------------


hkuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufjoe

oh, dear.  i do hope you will forgive me.  i appear to have spent an hour or
so Blessed with the Gift of Sleep.
i must appologise for my behavviour on this, my first communication with
you.

my vissitor was the owner of the small abode in which The Lord has brought
me to Rest.  i suspect i am here to asssssisssst with his moral welfare, as
he seems, at this moment in time, to lack any.  he does howwever, make
rather fine cake.  i moust foind the recipe.  one finds one can only eat a
small amount at a time, but the mmore one eats, the more one enjoys it.  i
must admit, my children, that

i have eaten he Whole cake, and am now feeling a little woozy.  the life of
a nun is fruggal, and i am unaccustomed to such delights.

but, children, i digress.  if i may, i shall return to my sottyroy.

omce, as i said beffore, there was man called --

my childen, thiss sotry is rathaer boring.  if i may, i wll tell you another
one...

in a moment... i am just giong to see if my hosts has any more of thiss
rthater exceellent cake.  mmm cake... fine cake..
---------------------------------------------------------------

its nto, right, as ifi meant ot poison herrr.  i knwo they thoght i did,
becaus shed always had it in for me.  from the day i got ther.  to the
convnet, i mean.  she htated me cccos i've got styyle....YEAH STYLE... and
she's a dowdey old spinsttter with a toga ficxation.  so sheee callsllme
sister janice.  i man sisster fucking - oho i am so sorrry, i don't mean to
ussse such strong language, its jusst that when you use stongg language itss
strong..

and itsss languge.  yknowww?

ywannt to tryy some of this cake?  i'lll feeddd it tooo you trhough the
scanrenn..
mmmmm....no you can'''t...cos its minee!  my cake!  MINE!

i've haddd enough of giving all the time.  its BROING bOriong BOring yknow?
what's the use of worrying?  it never was worhthiwle.

yeah...so seh calls me sisssster janice... i mean EVERYBODYE knows nuins are
called margareet mary or mary margaertet or mary margarte fucking mary mary
margetat god loves mary margaret sister blooddy margartet.  she HATED me..
all the other nuns ripped thepsoi psss...rippeed the
pissss...piorpe...err...laughted at me.  oh, they were very cleverl about
it.. they never showetd it to the muther superior, but thehy laughted at me,
cos she's dcalled me janixe.

but i swwear.. i never meant to kill her... and now i'm nolivingin her in
this shed... hdining from the polixe.,..god, god iv you livoe love me,
you've got a funny way of showing it...

and i hope you love me, cos i lneed someone to love mw.
and Jeusue Jseuse doen't want me for a sunbeam any more.

Jesus wants me aofr a sumbeam.

a sumabeam!  ha ha!

childrem, take care.

remember, if you cna't be good, be caruefkl.

careufl.

careufl.

nice.

xx
Sister Janice Sleggjj

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 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
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