Sinister: so down...

[Emilie Aune]

Dear Sinister,
I´ve been a member since a couple of months ago but this is the first time i 
write something......don´t know why I haven´t written before.....anyway, 
know it feels like i don´t have anyone i really can talk because noone 
really understands me and nobody cares (ok my mother), but it feels like 
none of my friends understands me and i don´t really want to tell everything 
because it´s so f***ing hard to talk about feelings....i think it´s 
embarrassing and so because i´m let down again and again and i feel like a 
big mistake.
Ok, it´s a guy....we´ve known each other for over a year and i´ve been in 
love with him all the time. We were going out for a couple of months now 
this automn but it turned out bad for me....he left me and i miss him so 
much....it really aches inside and today i´m so down......this is one of 
those really bad days. Yesterday was ok, but today it´s bad. Some days are 
better and you feel really strong and think that you can go on without him 
(he was a pig anyway and doesn´t deservs you)......but then the next day you 
feel so weak and miss him so much. I don´t know what to do....i´m just 
waiting for time to pass so i can forget him....because everyone says that 
you will forget him after a while....time goes by and you will forget 
him.....but it feels like time just passes by and my feelings don´t change a 
bit....they just go stronger and i long to see him....so how long must i 
wait? I just want him to come back to me....even though he has treated me 
really bad....cause i can´t go on without him. I want.....i want so much 
that i can´t have.....it´s like to wish impossible things....to wish 
impossible things......the only thing i can put my trust into now are these 
great bands in the world....like b&s, cure, a couple of swedish bands 
etc....who sing about those feelings i have inside.....then i feel a little 
bit better because i´m not alone in the world to feel this down.....
Anyway, i just felt for writing a little.....and actually it feels a little 
bit better....a little bit.......i should try to get some sleep now (after 
watching the telly for a while) because i have to go to work again 
tomorrow.....

Thank´s for reading this....if you came that far....
/ love em from sweden

_________________________________________________________________
Bli förälskad på MSN Dejting http://www.msn.se/dejting/default.asp

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