Sinister: All I want for Christmas is Chu

[James Thorniley]

Dear Santa,

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that I have been a very
good boy this year. Remarkably good in fact. Some would say that no boy
has ever been quite as good in a single year before. I have done many
good things, like I have been to almost all lectures and done my work. I
have read about how I am a bad man in the Guardian a few times, and felt
better about myself for doing it. I went to an anti-war demonstration
and pretended to be a hippy for a day, but I have also read some
editions of "The Mail" and found out, among other things, how much worse
Cherie Blair is than me. I have not eaten too much cake, but I do still
like it.

In light of all this, I wonder if you could arrange for me to receive
the following items:

- A photograph of Photo Jenny
- Tigermilk(ing)
- Bowling and Drinking
- A cigarette and a caravanette in Hull
- Services that I may reasonably require
- Bowling and Drinking
- Girl
- A spoon and a decent book
- Bowling and Drinking
- A special deal on renting from the man at rediffusion
- A documentary on radio 4
- Bowling and Drinking

Please also Santa, I would love it if you could perhaps organise some
Sinister Bowling and Drinking, I do love it so. I would organise it
myself but it might go very wrong.

Thankyou Mr Claus.
James

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