Sinister: i can't think of anything

[pulu xxx]

hello,

i felt so stupid after writing that mail on thrusday,
cos it was just a photo, he wasn't even with any girl
in it. i've just been obsessing about him lately and
about boys in general. i thought i was over it, but
every night i try to to think about something nice so
i've been thinking about being with someone and
whether i could be with anyone, whether i'd still have
feelings for him. and if someone would say that he
loves me or something and whether i could say the same
thing to him, and i realised that i can't. so i
thought i really have to stop obsessing about finding
someone and obsessing about him, cos that takes just
so much energy. and my grades are hurting, cos it's
difficult to concentrate on school work. but i'm just
tired of it though, and i regret that i missed that
one exam because of him. 
i'm generally able to control my emotions, but it's
just when i'm alone i tend to freak out about things
and make then bigger than what they probably are, in
reality.

something else now:
does anyone here attend strathclyde university? i
might be coming there in january, i've been offered a
place to study there for the 2nd semester, but i'm not
sure whether i should go, and i don't know whether i
get a place at the halls of residence. but yesterday i
read from nme that the delgados are playing there on
january the 28th and i could see them, and i'd like to
see them. but the thing that worries me are the
courses, especially those tutorials that you have. i
was planning to take some courses in history and
literature and maybe in politics. so i'd be studying
at faculty of arts and science, what are the teachers
like there? i'd like to go to necropolis and visit
nick drake's grave and sylvia plath's too, and maybe
go to isle of skye.

i better go now, thanks for listening and caring.

me x







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