Sinister: they let lisa go blind

[toadie291 at xxx.com]

hi everyone.  i wish i could come up with some witty 
greeting, i just dont have it in me right now i 
suppose.  hmm. at any rate, i was listening to my mp3's 
on shuffle this morning whilst getting ready for work. 
all the sudden "beautiful" by our beloveds came on. this 
got me to thinking of a post from a couple of months 
back.  perhaps you remember it to;let me synopsise for 
you. this girl posted about her family and how the song 
beautiful reminded her of herself and her relationships 
and the like.  her family had a difficult time 
understanding where she was coming from to the point 
that they decided to medicate her and now she is just 
this numb being.  i remember when i read it it made me 
cry. this morning when thinking of her it made me cry 
again.  i cant recall who it was that posted it,i dont 
think it was a "regular".  anyway, if you are reading 
this, i hope you are feeling better :o) 
what else?  ah yes. boys.  well its funny really.  there 
have been a couple of posts recently about "why dont i 
have someone? i dont look like a toad and im not into 
recreational cannibalism?"  reminds me a bit of me.  i 
dont really want a boyfriend mind you.  in fact i say no 
to 99% of the people that ask me out so i really have no 
room to complain.  its just funny. i went to get a 
manicure a few weeks ago with a friend of mine, sharon 
is her name.  we walked into the salon and there stood 
my archrival from high school.  oh how i loathed her.  
she was one of those know it all types, which is 
annoying enough when the person is always right, but 
this girl was always wrong.  ick. anyway.  she is 
younger than i, i think she is 23..a year younger?  i 
dunno, its a nonissue i suppose.  she in all of her 400 
pound glory was telling me how happily married she was.  
i mention her weight only because its nice to see people 
you dont like look worse than you, sort of validating in 
a shallow way.  those of you that deny it are all 
lying!  anyway. i was thinking: "self, perhaps we have 
set our standards too high?  perhaps we should not only 
date famous musicians...esp taking into account where 
that has gotten us in the past." quite right.  and 
enough of my speaking in the third person.  well now i 
have my sights set on a fireman.  he came to help me 
when i was in a car accident in december.  i thought he 
was sooooo cute but then chalked it up to me being a 
wreck and just imagining him to be so.  then a week or 
two ago i was at a traffic light.  i looked up at the 
fire engine next to me and there was MY cute fireman 
waving at me :o)  and he really is sooooooo cute. :o) so 
last saturday my suave self took my niece to the 
firestation.  when i finally figured out how to get in 
(they have a doorbell....an invisible one i am 
convinced)...so i said to the man who answered to 
door "my niece wants to see the fire station, is that 
okay?" to which my niece said "but you wanted to...." 
thats when i interupted her and said "is this a good 
time?"  fireman joe said that on his way down the stairs 
they got a call and if we could come back later that 
would be great. so we walked to the car.  then fireman 
joe came running to my car explaining that another 
ambulance had been sent to the scene of whatever had 
happened so we could come in.  he then said that there 
were only 2 guys there, as the others were out on a call 
with the fire engine.  damn!  my boy wasnt there!  i was 
so depressed.  so i keep praying ill see him again. i 
dont even know his name :o(  reminds me of the cure 
song "i sometimes used to try to catch your face, but 
never even caught your name."  its not fair.  i cant 
even find out my cute firemans name but 400 lb becky is 
married.  ewwwww.  oh well.  say la vee and all that 
jazz.  well i have a hunch olivia (the baby i take care 
of) will be waking from her slumbers soon so i shall 
away to practice my guitar.  i hope you are all toadie.  
if any of you love me at all youll start yourselves on 
fire in downers grove so i can help you and even call 
911? let me know if youre game! :o)

"when youre in the company of strangers, or just the 
strangers you call friends, you know before it starts 
just how its going to end."
~~stine
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