Sinister: i'm coming back to you, whoah

[Stankin' Cooter]

My pretties:

LIST ABUSE

There’s been a lot of this going on lately, and I’m heartily sick and tired 
of it. What’s more, I’m taking a stand against it. People writing to this 
list and pestering 1500+ people by banging on about some Scottish musical 
duo? (Or is one a dog? Which one’s the dog? I can never remember.) Where 
will it end? It’s disappointing, and I think some of you really need to take 
a good long look at yourselves, and pull yourselves up by your bootstraps. 
You know who you are.

There has been some smut, admittedly, which is lovely, but very little in 
the way of pointless, self-indulgent waffle about ME, which I find deeply 
disturbing. Where the hell is list mummy when you need her? I’ll try and 
redress the balance here, but really, I expect more from you in future.

EXPLAINING SINISTER

How many of you have tried? It’s not bloody easy, I can tell you.

At first it’s reading material. Information, great; the odd bit of toilet 
humour, even better. Then it’s conversation and making your own bum jokes. 
Then it’s email addresses and photographs, and letting on more about 
yourself than you meant to.

At some point it becomes something that you don’t talk about. You’re out 
with your mates, and you think about people you’ve not met. You find 
yourself about to quote them on something, and realise that you can’t. There 
are packages and phone calls, and sometimes plans.

Then, you find yourself sitting out the front of a restaurant by the sea 
with your mother, under palm trees, enjoying the breeze, a fag and a glass 
of wine, trying to explain something that has (in one way or another) come 
to influence large decisions you’re now making about your life.

How and when this happened, I have no idea. What the heck some of us would 
do without it? Also haven’t a clue, I’m sorry.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that’s struggled with this, as I know for a 
fact that it’s impacted loads of other lives just as much as it’s impacted 
mine. There should be some sort of warning on the site. I know there’s some 
vague talk about pulling and getting into people’s underpants and so on, but 
really, I think that just encourages people.

Stevie Trousers had a very good idea for a film. I don’t want to steal his 
thunder, so you should bug him to tell you about it.

PEOPLE WHAT DON’T LIKE THE STUFF I LIKE

Can’t stand ‘em.

I WANT SOMETHING

I’ve had a few sleepless nights lately, and last night was one of them. I 
found myself oddly regretting the fact that I’m an atheist. It seems that I 
need something to believe in at the moment. Other than, you know: aliens, 
love and pop music. This thought sort of snuck up on me, and rather 
surprised me, I guess. I attempted to figure out where it came from, and, 
perhaps somewhat unsurprisingly, it seems to stem from purely selfish 
motives. I think for the first time ever, I have something that I really 
want to ask for. This doesn’t sit too well with me. I’ve never been big on 
thanks or blame.

I don’t think I share the nostalgia for childhood that seems to be a common 
theme on this list. There have been ups and downs at every stage, of course, 
but the overall trajectory of my life is still heading upwards. Things, on 
the whole, get better every year. I’ll be unstoppable at one hundred and 
three.

Childhood was survived, and all the stuff that surrounded me eventually 
passed. I came out the other side of it uncertain and sort of shapeless, and 
got lost for quite a while. Having decided not to bow out, but to take some 
enjoyment and meaning where I could find it, I did the best I could, and 
stumbled from one thing to another. I measured my success by how well I 
could choose what to remember and what to forget. But that can’t last for 
long.

Somewhere along the line I got some sort of idea about who I am, and started 
to become able to let other people have an idea about that as well. That 
helped. I think I can actually see further ahead than the next step now, 
though I’m still taking them. So it’s time to leap. Wish me luck.

I’m overwhelmed and scared, of course, and probably a bit daft, but I’m 
clinging to hope and a sort of bloody-minded optimism that I’m due for this.

Oh, and what I want most of all at the moment is a green card. So if any 
American listees want to marry me, please email. I’m fastidiously neat, I 
eat like a bird, I have a great record collection, I smell nice, and I’m 
polite and charming, though a bit scruffy. Also, I’m staggeringly handsome 
and hung like a Cretan bull.*

WORKING, LOOKING FOR DIFFERENT WORK, GETTING ROBBED, COUGHING, MAKING 
EXPENSIVE PHONE CALLS AND GIVING CRAP RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IN #SINISTER

Is what I’ve been doing since I last posted.

Some sod broke into my house and stole my laptop. Which is a giant pain in 
my arse. What’s more, it looks like it must have happened while I was 
sleeping in the next room. Which is slightly terrifying. I’ve lost all the 
thoughts I’d written down over the last few months, other than those I’ve 
shared with you lot. My memory is crap, and my backup disc was in the drive, 
so that’s all gone. Sigh.

I’ve been robbed twice in the last year. And this time they didn’t even go 
to the trouble of punching my lights out and breaking my spectacles. 
Standards are slipping.

GODSPEED ALL THE BAKERS AT DAWN

Baker, Baker asked:

“have you ever considered how insignificant music and art would be in your 
life if you'd never ever felt terribly sad once in your life?”

In a word, ‘yes’. I try to be a tolerant and accepting person, but really, 
I’m little more than a snob in many respects. I’m deeply suspicious of 
people that don’t have a passion for some form of art or expression, and I 
don’t think that I could be friends with them, if I’m totally honest with 
myself. I don’t mind what it IS specifically, but all the best people are 
passionate about something.

I’m also one of those people that, if I’ve never been to your house before, 
will read the spines of your CDs and books while you’re doing a wee. Sorry.

Baker, Lindsey asked:

“how is it that people make it through some days?”

Ask me tomorrow. Oh, and chins up, Miss Lindsey. You’re one of the good 
ones.

Both Bakers also said some other stuff that I thought was good. So hats off 
to them, I think.

I’ve written this in dribs and drabs all day, while I’ve been at work. It’s 
absolutely all over the shop, isn’t it? Sorry.

That’s it for me for today, other than to remind you all how gorgeous each 
and every one of you are, and to insist you all take nothing but the very 
best possible care.

Stay electronically tested for durability, with a pleasing coral tint.

Bulk love,
     -David.

*(This may very well not be entirely true.)

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