Sinister: i've seen them all and, man, they're all the same

[gina titchener]

fingerprints, that is.

fact of the day: in order to make asm's body look the same size as his foot 
you have to hold his foot three inches from your face.

hello peeps

i haven't posted since the fab tweequeen of smut herself, archel, 
temporarily joined the ysm, so i should say at this point that she is 
extremely groovy, and funny, and, yes, smutty. i'm just sorry i couldn't 
stay up till 4 discussing the meaning of life and strap-ons with her and 
sam. the brighton meetup will be ace if she's in charge.

but to bellezc zoe and the other hundreds of similarly isolated and skint 
sinisterettes, who think they're ostracized cos they can never get to meet 
up's  - i think sinister's different when you regularly see the people who 
read this. i do miss the anonymity to some extent, it's changed from 
somewhere to say anything and be anyone to a diary that your mum's gonna 
read and ask you about. obvs, i adore all the ysm and wouldn't want to lose 
them, ever, but it has changed. revel in your facelessness - you never have 
to explain your post to anyone

so...yeah.
i fell asleep listening to judy and the dream of horses and ended up having 
a dream where struan was dressed as a pirate, eyepatch and everything, due 
to the parrot reference (i guess). i think that's my most bizarre b+s dream 
to date. in fact i think it's the most bizarre b+s dream i've ever heard of.

there has been much gossip around these parts about some notice pinned on 
the parish noticeboard entitled perks of being a wall flower, which i insist 
stops now as it is not available in the village library. i remember the days 
when the talk was all about some young chap's essay called infinite jest - 
it's a shame that died out as it is a curiously compelling and, yes, funny 
book of which i enjoyed all 1000 pages {plus appendix} (i suspect some 
conspiracy on the part of those who hate double barreled surnames, as it was 
by david foster wallace).

i was waiting to cross st denys' road (you know, near dave dee's banana 
warehouse) when an irate man pulled up next to the car infront of me, wound 
down his window and yelled at the driver of the car next to him (an old man) 
for beeping his horn - when he hadn't! things like that make me so sad, and 
hateful of man, and sorry for us that that is how we live. it was so 
childish, and not in the good way that stankin and co have been discussing, 
just in an 'i can't contemplate anyone else's point of view, they must be 
wrong' way. so i told him to grow up*.

anyhoo.
the rainy season is upon us. i hate the rainy season. i have no clean flares 
left in the world. as a result i have been paying close attention to how 
others keep their trouser bottoms clean. here are the top 5(and a half) in 
descending order

1)bicycle clips
  1+1/2) flourescent bicycle clips
2)rolling trousers up
3)poppers sewn onto flares so one can reduce their diameter at will
4)carrying a spare pair of trousers to change into (props to migmk)
5)taping up your trousers with black gaffer tape.
plus my favourite shoes of all time, purple cord docs, have a hole in! and 
so can't be worn.

"too many of these paragraphs start with 'i'" you're thinking. but bollocks 
to you. here's another one.

i knitted myself a scarf and it's marvellous and all (obvs!) but i need a 
tip from any other knitters - how do you stop the thing curling in on 
itself? i've done the good ole knit one perl one and it's turned into a 
tube.... any ideas?

there's something about your 40 year old, japanese maths lecturer saying 
that a question is a 'no-brainer' that is inexplicably funny.

will those who 'believe' please pray that there isn't a strike by arriva on 
april the 2nd. the rest of you, get ready to put me and my mates up after 
the manchester gig. (who else is going? will there be pre gig meet up? am i 
saying all this *far* too early? sorry, i'll calm down. even children don't 
get that excited that far in advance)

a final, sinister-is-grate comment and then we can all go home -
wednesday was spent in a blissful izzard-induced state of chuckling in the 
delightful company trar/f-b (depending on how old you are) and hairy stu, 
under the auspicious title of eliza grae night (see the archives), due to 
her inspiration for the event - big thanks to all of them for a fab** night. 
but with out honey it would never have happened - remember that kids

well... i have to go and meet my new housemate (yes! the bitch moved out. 
ahem, scuse me) and you have real lives to get to so... i guess i'll see you 
around.
take care
gina
x

ps johan? JOHAN? are you there? PLEASE warn me if you're coming over!

pps craig chin, are you alive? did you get your sinister xmas present? 
please mail me if you have/haven't.. well, just mail me. i'll be gutted if 
that got lost....  the pressies i received were grate (but then one of them 
was from gneissy - what do you expect? that human being is amazing.)

ppps i have been told that upside down badges have been declared 'passe'. 
well bollocks to you too. as well as being useful, it makes me feel like i 
know something special. tho probably in a very childish way.

*very very quietly. he probably wouldn't have taken such criticism in a 
mature way.

**it would have been perfect if young sam had remembered where he was 
supposed to be. grrh. careful, sammy, we know one of your middle names

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