Sinister: i'm gettin me an ed yoo kay shun

[Kirsten Kenyon]

  how many times does a person have to do the same thing on a regular 
basis for it to be considered a "habit?" i know there's a set 
number.  i think i've probably surpassed it.  my current habits 
(assuming i may refer to them as such) are as follows:
  -doing the crossword puzzle in the shepherd express every week
  -eating a cheese and tomato sandwich for lunch every day
  -spending saturday afternoons learning to distinguish sambas from 
calypsos from russian gypsy music from spanish gypsy music from new 
orleans from chicago from god-knows-what-else. from slava, a middle-
aged russian street musician.  i think i've mentioned him before.  
now i've mentioned him again.  
  -sundays at the antique market
   how depressing.  really.  
   yesterday, i stood behind a faded curtain in a pink chiffon 
cocktail dress and a string of pearls, pinning back my hair and 
humming along with moon river. and then i realized that as much as i 
might sometimes like to be some mysterious, worldweary cynic lurking 
in dark corners and just aching with sophistication, i'm really 
nothing more than a sap romantic who talks to puppies and paints her 
toenails while singing along with billie holiday. i would probably 
make fun of me.  well, i do.  but...sheesh.  so i wandered around for 
about an hour, trying on coats and gloves and opening umbrellas, 
trying to imagine each item in a context...a hat someone wore to a 
funeral, a polished cane that leaned against a wall for years after 
its owner didn't need it anymore, someone's favorite dress, a dumb 
ashtray someone bought on a family vacation to south dakota...i can 
almost hear some of you gagging.  i am a S-A-P.  i eat this stuff 
up.  i smiled at a lot of really old people in embroidered 
sweatshirts.
  i bought some fake jade monkeys.  they need names.  i NAME 
everything.  more SAP.  i think that misty is a good name for a 
monkey.  and maybe oberon.  and hank.  if you met three monkeys named 
misty, oberon, and hank, which one would you think was pretentious?  
it's totally hank, in case you wanted to know.  
  i watched chinatown.  i like when jack nicholson says that he likes 
breathing through his nose.  i mean, i think we can all relate to 
that.  i think that when people make films, it's really good when 
they make them so people who watch them can sit back and think "yeah, 
i get that."  this really good friend of mine made a really 
interesting website that you might be really interested in if you 
like really good movies, especially ones that are from the nineties 
and are starring kid n play.  i can't remember the link right now, 
but you really should check it out when i get around to posting it.  
 guess what!  i'm taking a college writing class!  we get to do peer 
editing.  it's so much fun.  
 also, i have a history class.  we were instructed to bring items 
that we thought represented life in the year 1900.  anywhere in the 
world.  very very broad assignment, and much like show and tell, only 
for older kids.  i brought some farmer's diary.  in this dialogue, 
let V represent the teacher, while O and M will be students.
  V: what did you bring?
  O: a photo of magic johnson.
  V: why?
  O: um. magic johnson has AIDS.
  V: i see.  and what does this have to do with life in 1900?
  O: (stares at the wall with mouth hanging slightly open)
  V: and what did you bring along?
  M: i brought a glue gun.
  V: an electric glue gun?
  M:  mm-hmm.
  V: (silence)
  O: (cough)
  M: electricity is important. (long pause) i guess i misunderstood  
the assignment.
  I  
  Think  that's enough
  
  love
  kirsten
  x


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