Sinister: Belle and Sebastian Star At Stars Hollow

[Laura Llew]

Evidently, people have been worried about me lately and -get this- it has 
NOTHING do with the fact I proposed to a homosexual male. (Oh and they're 
the ones worrying about me? Whatever! They don't even have concern for the 
right reasons. Pfffftttt.)  Earlier tonight I was taping Gilmore Girls for 
the object of my affliction and -- as Lisa already mentioned -- there was a 
whole Belle and Sebastian subplot on it. I mean they just didn't play Legal 
Man there was a whole scene involving SUBTERFUGE and everything.

Since I never have any B&S content, I've decided to describe this in such 
agonizing detail that no one will ever complain again about my posts when 
they wander off into freak tangents such as how my father once said that he 
wanted his funeral at Bristol Motor Speedway on race day so that way he can 
happily look down and think, "Wow all those people and they're even paying 
for parking."

First a CAST OF CHARACTERS!

Production Company: DOROTHY PARKER PRODUCTIONS
(must mention the more important things first)

RORY: Main teen character of the show. 16. She loves books and even brought 
along with her "The Portable Dorothy Parker" to her prom in case it got 
boring. Smart girl!

LANE: Rory’s best friend who has recently been grounded by her strict 
parents. Grounded in this case includes being taken out of school to be 
homeschooled for two weeks. She is itching for outside contact and even has 
a telescope at her bedroom window where she is tracking Rory's movement so 
she can call her whenever near a phone (though she only gets five minutes of 
phone time, except to the psalm a day hotline which has had the SAME psalm 
four days in a row which with the name of the line is BEARING FALSE WITNESS 
and a commandment so I'm surprised their little program didn't just burst 
into flames).

MAMA LANE: Strict maternal parental unit. Once when Rory's house had 
termites, MamaLane yelled at Rory because she brought her termite-infested 
body to her store full of furniture and turned a HOSE onto her ignoring 
Rory's protests that she's not a carrier for the splinter choking critters.

MICHEL: Pronounced “Mee-shell”. French. He works with Rory's mother where, 
from what I can tell, all they do is exchange witty banter in a hotel lobby. 
He is apathetic and sarcastic. Once at a club where the wait staff were all 
dressed up in drag Mae West asked what she could get him. Michel frenched, 
"My dignity back."

KIRK: This is how much I love you people. I actually did research to find 
out his name - I just know him as the guy in the video store when Rory 
complains that there's a picture of a mostly naked girl on the cover of a 
video that is in plain view of small children. He wanted to know "Is she a 
blonde?" Ha. Ha. Ha.

THE SETUP:
In the diner, Rory is there with her mother trying to decide where to sit 
which is really an excuse to have a moment of witty dialogue since they'll 
sit where they always do and everyone knows it. So, they sit. Phone rings 
and the diner owner (Luke - the lovable GOOD LOOKING town grump. Oh my town 
has grumps too but they all in their sixties and smell of ben gay. I'd like 
to request a change of residence to a fictional town) answers and it's for 
Rory.

Pan up to Lane who is in her bedroom with eye on telescope, ear to phone, 
and mouth a moving. Oh wait - I don't think this is where the Belle and 
Sebastian line comes in.

Fast forward.

Rory is walking down the sidewalk and the pay phone rings. Pan up to stalker 
Lane again which Rory, duly notes, is becoming kind of scary. Lane is urgent 
in her request (and speedy since she only has a limited amount of phone time 
before Gestapo mother quizzes her to see what the psalm of the day. "Where's 
your vision?" "You can't fool me, Lane. That's a proverb!").

Lane: "Belle and Sebastian's new single comes out today and I must have a 
copy of it. As an audio geek I have a responsibility."

I'm misquoting because it has now been exactly 4 hours and 41 minutes since 
the show ended, my video tape didn't work so I have nothing to refresh my 
memory, and I worked ten hours today so I keep getting elements of the 
episode confused with things like the customer at the bookstore who I taught 
smutty Russian phrases to.

Lane and Rory decide that they need to put a plan into action in order to 
get Lane the new Belle and Sebastian while she's under such strict 
supervision.

ACTUAL SCENE OF SUBTERFUGE
*Cue the playing of Legal Man*

Lane and MamaLane come out of their house walking briskly, looking straight 
ahead, and full of purpose. Kirk stops them - an obvious distractor - and 
asks MamaLane when the store is open on a particular day. She rattles off 
store hours -- one for decent paying customers and another set for people 
who do things like loiter in the aisles and voted Democrat in the last 
election. Lane subtly holds her bag slightly open to her side. While 
MamaLane is busy channeling Barry Goldwater, a shrouded jogger drops the CD 
into Lane's bag. MamaLane says Amen and then hurries off with her daughter.

Pan to jogger swooning on steps of the diner where Rory has been watching 
the entire thing. Jogger removes his faustus hood to reveal none other than 
Michel who is very French and very unhappy. The times had been changed from 
9am to 10am (you discover this in a hurried phone call which I deleted from 
my retelling as I can't remember any of the snappy banter it entailed) but 
Michel didn't get the message so he had been running around the square for 
an hour. He's quite disgruntled with this even though Rory tells him he has 
good form. He says his cardiologist will be happy and after grabbing his 
heart dramatically and flailing a bit he sulks off.

Legal Man is still playing but now it becomes louder and the scene ends.

Lane has her CD!
        B&S played on my favorite show!
                               Everybody cheers!

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY NIGHT AMY SHERMAN-PALLADINO, WRITER CREATOR AND 
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF GILMORE GIRLS, EVEN IF MY VCR HAS FEELINGS OF 
ABANDONMENT AND REFUSES TO WORK FOR ME KEEPING ME FROM SHARING THE JOY AND 
HAPPINESS EXCEPT FOR THROUGH LONG BORING POSTS WRITTEN IN THE THROES OF 
INSOMNIA!

_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+