Sinister: i have a crush, too bad he's not on the list

[bus stoppers]

sinister, sinister...

i am not sure if this at all qualifies as list abuse, but my
on-line diary's server is not working.  it is where i usually
dump all my day to day bullshit that i don't know what to do
with.  and since it's not working, this is the closest thing i
have to it.  so if you want, you can skip this.  i'm going to
talk about a boy.  or boys.

first of all.  i am not a hooker.  i am not available for
sex-for-hire.  with that said, how come i seem to end up with
boys, that for some reason, think that i am?!?  i do not dress
promiscuously (sp?).  i do not talk about sex all the time.  and
whatever else qualifies me as a slut, it's just not there.  so
what the f*ck!  (excuse my language, it's the frustration
speaking.)

so boy number one.  he asked me for my number.  he came back to
my work because he lost my number.  my first thought was, "oh,
how sweet!"  right?  wrong!  he instant messages me asking if he
can pick me up so that he could have fun with me...umm...and
some other stuff.  i freak out and tell him not to be gross.  he
doesn't understand.  he said, "huh?"

then boy number two.  this one stood me up not just once, but
twice.  how rude.  but he had homework, so what was i going to
say.  but then he asked me if i wanted him to pick me up and
take me to a hotel room to smoke some weed and take a shower
with him.  umm.  no thank you.

but then there's boy number three.  this one has potential.  i
wish that he was on the sinister list so that i could send him a
list crush e-mail.  (what if he is and i don't know it and i
bump into him at work?  how silly would i feel.)  he is my
innocent-as-can-be-co-worker-crush.  he's adorable.  he gave me
a compliment today at work right before i was leaving and i
smiled all the way home.  sigh.  too bad he has a mean, bitchy
girlfriend...  

i can never win.

always wanting what i can't have.

sorry for whining.  again.  i told you to skip it.

so this was my 'valentine' post,
sara


p.s...mr. ray sir, if while you are cooking up your valentine,
do ya think that you could make me up a recipe for a
non-poo-poo-head boyfriend...?  pleeeease?

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