Sinister: The only things being crushed round here are drinks cans...

[Gardiner, Stuart]

Another post from the bored-at-work club. Well, actually I'm waiting for my
computer to run something. It doesn't have an hourglass, it has a sundial.


It's here again. The most detested day on the calendar. The day when every
man on the planet is either:
a) Depressed because they haven't got a Valentine yet again; or
b) Depressed because they have got a Valentine and have to spend a
ridicuolous amount of money on them.

And every woman on the planet is either:
a) Depressed because they haven't got a Valentine yet again; or
b) Depressed because they have got a Valentine who won't spend a ridiculous
amount of money on them.

Just say no, kids. They reckon the number of arguments and breakups today is
second only to Christmas. And if I see one more couple playing tonsil
tennis, I'll brick them.


On a happier note, I haven't been drunk now for a whole 5 days. It may not
last though, a friend is trying to persuade me to come out tonight with the
promise that there'll be lots of single desparate women about. Sounds so
tempting, doesn't it? Of course, Thursday nights are currently booked into
my diary as Banzai night (the bizzarest, funniest and probably best thing on
TV for ages)...

One major discovery from last weekend was that my bowling ability increases
with alcohol. No that it could get much worse, admittedly. Alcohol also
increases my propensity for doing a conga round the bowling alley, but never
mind. (the deadly substance may also have had something to do with the fact
that I had to get a train back from Sheffield on Sunday with only one shoe,
but that's another story...)


I notice that my concert tickets haven't turned up yet. Which is interesting
when I've paid £4.50 for them to be delivered. For that price, I want them
hand-delivered by the band. Can't Banchory sell us the tickets direct next
time?


After all his tales of housekeeping, you'd have thought that Big Gay Mark
would have learnt by now that the best way to wash your clothes is to take
them off first?

And I'm not even going to ask how Hannah's keyboard became so sticky...


Big Stu

(who falls into the first category, for the 26th year in a row...)

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