Sinister: i spent this afternoon nostalgic for this morning

[gina titchener]

perhaps i shall make this a weekly event (for those of you not keeping tabs, 
i posted this time last week)

fact of the day: eating suger puffs makes your wee smell (of sugar puffs)

good evening space cadets

i have things to say, and nowhere to start. see how i scratch my thumb and 
wait for the first line to occur to me. ok. a-o, let's go.

baker,baker told me to be thankful for my gang and my sense of belonging (i 
think - i'm too scared to save draft and check cos this mail's diappeared 
once already), and that if there weren't a number of people similar to me in 
this town, it would feel alien. perhaps, infact, no doubt he is right. it 
feels good to have people who share (some of) my views, to talk to and to go 
places, have picnics with.
what i was griping about (and what fb had already mentioned - thanks to 
fruitloop's meta-post for reminding me) was that you lose the ability to say 
anything to the rest of you guys. because it is easier, far easier, to say 
certain things to a crowd of faceless strangers than to a few of your mates. 
it is sad that it is true, but it is inescapable.

so, valentine's day happened - i refused to 'participate' (be slatched into 
spending my last pound proving how much the loved one is loved), but the boy 
didn't, resulting in card + present = guilt. now i owe him. (i wonder if 
he'd like a scarf? or a mixtape...)

in response to all the brighton posts, an account of my weekend follows as 
it was thoroughly bizarre. and it includes an accidental meet up, so it 
counts as content.

friday night was spent in a chinese restaurant - nowt odd with that, except 
at 11 pm it turns into the most hideous disco you've ever seen. you know 
weddings where your mum dances badly to shania twain and old men with pony 
tails, beards and beer bellies play air guitar to queen... it was one of 
them. only infinitely worse, somehow. something to do with the fact that you 
knew it happened every friday night, with out fail. the highlight if their 
mundane week.

{actually on reflection it might have been the young people that were the 
most pathetic. they weren't actually having a good time, they were 
ironically enjoying the sheer hell of it. that includes me, i know, but at 
least i wasn't dancing or chatting up 40 year olds for fun. these people 
could have been dancing to new, innovative music in a proper club or 
chatting in the groovy late night coffee house, but they were in a 
cheese-mongering mor disco. am i a snob? an inverted youth-snob? i don't 
know. i don't think i care.}

saturday was on the other end of the spectrum, at an indie 'alldayer', 
gojonnygogogogo, in a pub on the outskirts of leeds listening to some great, 
some good and some shocking (as in bad) tiny indie bands - ballboy, 
chemistry experiment and plouf in that order. orb was there (hi orb!) with 
his flowing hair, tho i don't think he had a clue who i was, plus migmk, so 
that counts as a meet up. it was full of way-too-hip kids, who made me feel 
culturally lazy (i hope you know what i mean) and my boy feel old. we left 
early, and were home in time for the premiership.

sunday we watched a cary grant/katherine hepburn double bill at the local 
indie screen, which was blissful. 'just right' as goldilocks would say. 
somewhere in between the mor of friday and the lofi-er's heaven of saturday.

~

a little about myself:
when i was 8 or 9, my violin teacher promised to give each of my fellow 
trainee violinists and i a housepoint for each word we could find with 5 or 
more syllables in it.
i returned the next week with 64 such words.
i got 4 housepoints.
i have never treated challenges with the same enthusiasm since.

~

this wednesday i will be in oxford - i have been lead to believe it is the 
last 'panic'. will anyone else - ie matt willson - be in town?

~

don't worry, kids, the summer is returning. i can smell it, i can feel it, 
in the relaxed wind that opens my eyes and lifts my head. the flowers dare 
blossom again - see the snowdrops nodding. soon there will be equal amounts 
of light and dark each day and thoughts will turn to plans of escape and 
adventure, and the infinity of opportunities open to you.

gina
x

i'd give it all up for a springboard, a pair of shorts, a clean white 
t-shirt and the ability to do the perfect backflip
                                           ~ballboy

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