Sinister: i've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.

[lindsey baker]

hello sinister.

i have always believed that everything happens for a reason.

so. there is a reason i have become addicted to dashboard confessional. 
there is a reason that it was first the swiss army romance during the wait, 
and the places you have come to fear the most after it has ended.

again.

nebraska lost a championship game or something. the newspaper is dismayed. 
the chinese shop was out of rice with brown sauce. or rather, just the brown 
sauce. none of the messages i left with my loving friends have been 
returned. yesterday was warm, almost balmy, and today the frigid february 
winds have returned with a vengeance, reminding me that sometimes sunshine 
is only false hope and a prelude to ... yeah.

but at least my hair looks good.

there was another boy at the coffee shop to soften the blow after The Call. 
he had wandered over to me earlier in the evening, to ask what i was 
writing. sat down when i said poetry. and then he was off, and i found out 
again that i have killer eyes and hair, and a mouth to write home about.

i think they must think it's sexy, taking the small black box of wooden 
sticks out of my pale fingers, striking the flame, feeling the glorious 
tension before the rounded tip of the two-inch rectangle bursts into flame. 
holding the little fire out, shielding it with a clammy hand, getting that 
close to my quivering, tear-stained lips. and then, watching me suck the 
life out of the momentary addiciton, reaching for another before i get down 
to the filter. watching my killer eyes when i realize that addiciton isn't 
the same as passion after all, and ignoring the aftertaste.

i hate this town.

xxx lou

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