Sinister: i'm not going anywhere, but i don't care, i think that's FINE

[Kirsten Kenyon]

  i must not have been fully awake as i drove to school this 
morning.  all i could make out were vague shapes, outlines of cars 
and trees and golden arches through the heavy snow and through my 
eyelashes, as my eyes refused to open completely until i was about a 
mile from the university, at which point i found that i was staring 
at the grimy rear end of a silver tank mounted on a truck. 
 the tank's contents were made clear by the lettering on the back 
(assuming, of course, that the tank contained MILK and not "up 
yours"), and soon i was considering what a delightful piece of video 
footage it might make if i were to accidentally crash into the milk 
truck.  snowflakes, grey exhaust and a surging, bubbling wave of cold 
white milk rushing over my windshield.  it would have gone quite well 
with the music playing, and the mental image of smooth milk and 
broken glass was something shockingly exquisite until i realized that 
the tank was made of steel and my car is a piece of crap, and i would 
surely lose consciousness on impact and miss the whole thing.
  so i turned up the radio and passed the truck, sped up the hill and 
parked outside westview hall.  a westview, a northview, and a 
southview, all bleak panoramas of drab rooftops and gravel pits.  
there's no eastview, because east is just a parking lot.
  i was carefully making my way up the icy steps when i heard 
something terrible.  i noticed a tiny trickle of something running 
past my feet.  i doubt it was milk.  i looked up to see a scrawny, 
snowflake-studded boy seated at the top of the steps, hugging his 
knees, his narrow shoulders shaking at the pitiful noises he made as 
he vomited down the steps of westview at 7:58 on a monday morning.  i 
felt last night's vodka stirring in my stomach and came dangerously 
close to joining him, but when my mouth opened, all that came out 
was "jesus."
  i handed in my research paper about illiteracy in america and spent 
about forty five minutes watching pierre's adam's apple slide up and 
down as he rattled off a monotone monologue about mla citation 
procedures, vital information i thought we had all learned in the 
eighth grade.  i nodded from time to time.  i drew beautiful ladies 
and tapdancing ice cream cones and milk trucks and adam's apples in 
my notebook.  some guy inquired as to pierre's office hours, and he 
practically jumped out of his nine-weeks-from-retirement skin as he 
eagerly recited the hours.  the girl next to me, peering at pierre 
over the heavy, black rims of her glasses, leaned over and whispered,
  "oh my god, look how excited he is."
  and i nodded, because he was obviously immensely pleased that 
someone was showing interest in an out of class consultation, but i 
felt just awful because someday i'll probably be nine weeks from 
retirement, wearily reciting pages of the mla handbook to snotty 
college students who vomit on monday mornings and wouldn't think 
twice about wasting milk.  no matter how many times you repeat the 
rules, there's always one dope who neglects to alphabetize his works 
cited page.

  love
  kirsten


Care2 make the world greener!
http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife!
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+