Sinister: frosty love

[Bron]

this evening it's snowing.  usually, i hate the 
snow.  but it's not bad, not this time.  i 
walked in it tonight.  i strolled actually.  i 
smiled and felt bad for all those people driving 
cars...because they had no idea what they were 
missing out on in the fresh open nighttime air.

this evening.
in my portable cd player i had a mixed trance cd 
my ex-boyfriend made for me just recently.  
track 5 is a tranced-out version of a song i 
remember from high school:  'ordinary world', i 
forget who sang it, it's a nostalgic song for 
me...i taped it randomly off the radio one day 
back in the 90's, and played it over and over 
again, till i taped over it.  and then high 
school was over.

this morning.
my ex-boyfriend stole my heart and left me with 
a true love for techno about two years ago.  
we've talked on occasion since he left me, but 
not recently (except for when he randomly gave 
me this cd of his finest mixing work)  so this 
morning, on my way to my first class, i was 
feeling light, i knew the sun was more inside my 
eyes than in the sky, and out of nowhere he 
drove by.  i saw him see me as i biked down the 
sidewalk...i felt beautiful.  he hasn't loved me 
for a long time.  but for the first time, it was 
fine for me not to love him.  for the first 
time, i loved myself...without him.

return to this evening.
tonight as the snow fell, it was perfect.  
~~~dreadful word:  "perfect" ~~~so i'll try not 
to use it again, but for the sake of this post, 
i'll use it just this once.  my old lover's 
techno played in my ears, the falling of the 
cold wetness felt like kisses on my face, the 
massive white fingers of the bowing tree 
branches were begging gravity to lend them down 
just a little more...just to touch the ground in 
which they've been so curious about since the 
sky is all they've truly known, the uniformity 
of the ground of which the tree branches cursed 
me for stepping on...just because i could, the 
peace i breathed beneath my skin.  


random note of the day.
in my class on monday and wednesday evenings 
there's a quiet boy who sits across the room.  
he's slightly pudgy, has fire red hair, a pink 
face, and wears a john mellencamp t-shirt on 
occasion.  i wasn't impressed with him at all 
until tonight.  he didn't do anything 
extraordinary, he just sat there as always.  but 
i appreciated him.  i don't know why.  i just 
did.



tonight it was frosty.
tonight there was love.

---your mountain mama sweetheart  X




***Sometimes you get shown the light in 
the strangest of places if you look at 
it right***  ---Jerry.
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