Sinister: nice day for a post

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

You know your day is gonna be good when, you know how a ring of keys 
sometimes come undone on their own and keys drop out, well my keys did that 
last week and I never bothered to put them back together, but today after 
putting both bits of the keyset into my pocket they miraculously slotted 
themselves back together all on their own.  Now I have just one, whole, set 
of keys again and I'm happy.

Later on I received some lovely stuff through the post, I thought I had my 
own stalker when I opened my door today and a guy was standing there, but it 
was just the postman giving me a bunch of posts.

One of the posts was a nagging mail from scottish powers about how I haven't 
yet paid my gas bills, which wasn't particularly good news except - I 
noticed that the cheating bastards had used "estimated" values (i.e. they 
were too lazy to actually come round and check my meters and so they just 
GUESSED how much gas I used) - and their guestimates were like 3 times too 
much so I can phone them now and my bill will be cut by a third. :)

Speaking of cutting short... There's a lady in the office here who is really 
small, like about 4 feet tall.  I never noticed how little she was, maybe 
she was below my line of sight, or maybe I just have a shortcoming in 
observations... there was this other girl in my office, who I just knew had 
something wrong with her, something that's not quite right about her but I 
could never figure out what it was, until one day, it hit me like a giant 
mallet, that she had a giant mullet!  In true 80s news presenter style too, 
with a pair of 80s news presenter glasses.

Anyhow, when I walked past the 4 foot lady earlier today I suddenly wondered 
what it would be like if I were reeeally short (like even shorter than I am 
now) - I'd be really seeing things from a different perspective, and how 
convenient it'd be to be able to burrow through things rather than having to 
go round them because I'd be so small.

Or what if I were reeeally tall (like even taller than i am now)?  Like I 
can tip-toe and I can immediately see things over a huge brick wall.. In our 
office, where the photocopier is they have a few these 6' tall cupboards 
that formed a cubicle-like thing around the copier, the walls are just high 
enough so that anyone above 6 foot can casually spy around the office over 
the cupboards whilst bearing the photocopying chores - everyone else would 
have to either tip-toe really hard, or (*gasp*) jump to see anything, which 
incidentally would make one look, eloquently put, like a prick.  Not that 
I've tried.

And if I were very tall would I also start spending my whole life counting 
how many bits of dandruff people have just because I can see their scalps?

Dandruffs and Red Bulls
Ken

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