Sinister: My girl's got miraCHUless teKENiques

[Tom Pettinger]

Respect the title. My pastiche will be even better.
I'd like to say "nice day for a post", but there has been a large influx of
posts recently, so it isn't really a good day for a post, but I'll post
anyway because... *I was released early today, and I don't feel kike making
a cup of tea. *(Honey read; "I have many useful things and heart rendering
stories i feel it is my obligation to regale to you.)

Hello.

Ken said:
>The restaurant was nice, small but thriving, and they played cheesy
>Chinese pop tunes in the background, I was surprised to remember some of
the
>old classics.

Even as tenuous sinister links go this is pushing it but:
Cheese.
In the common room in our school (and Richard Cottyn will confirm this)
there is a huge number of people who sit and play cards, lookin bored but
thinking tha it cheers them up. Every other break you are invited to play
some form of game you have never heard of, and told it is easy and that you
will pick it up etc. For those League of Gentleman fans out there, the "go
johnny go-go-go-go" scene fits exactly.
Well, a couple of friends and myself had had enough of this lark today. As
is a common thought in my circle of friends, "We'll teach them to play silly
buggers".
Hence, "cheese" was born. It is our own card game.
The game is, you and your friend/s invite someone who thinks they are a bit
of a card shark to play "cheese" with you. Before the game you tell them
that you are playing "outback" rules, because 4's are high and Kings need to
be matched, otherwise you pick up. (?) Proceed  to deal out however you feel
the need, then arrange the rest of the pack of cards on the table in
separate piles at your discretion.
Now simply see how far you can go! Keeping a straight face, place random
cards on a main pile and take on a pained expression. Occasionally pick up a
card from one of the piles, swap your hand for one of them etc. and tell the
victim they have just put down a "doubler", a "royal cheese", a "straight
cheese" etc. We managed to get through 3 rounds before we got bored and told
them.

Yes, it is juvenile and immature.
Yes, it is hilarious.

Richard Kim Jones said:
>p.s.go listen to sigur rós now

OK

Gina T, thankyou for the tape, I haven't listened to it yet but I'm sure it
is wonderful. I am still working on yours.


I have fallen in love with the girl/s from Slumber Party. This is entirely
possible as they are all sweet-sweet-sweet, but if pushed to make a choice I
would have fall in love with...all of them. I love there album. Does anyone
know where I can get "Psychadelicate"?

Much laughing for Stu for coming up with all these amusing one-liners.
They're those things that I can't remember if they're original or not (no
offence, Stu) so I daren't go and tell my friends because I'll be like*:
"Hey guys, there are two types of people in the world. Those who can count,
and those who can't!!!"
And they'll be like*: "Nice one Tom, we've only heard that one a thousand
times."

(*Note the American girl school of quirkiness style)
Much like that one about walking a mile in someone's shoes. Or the one
have, on occasion, used: "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

...

Mmm...they get worse...

xToMx
Whoo-hoo, Offbeat friday this week.

P.S. Robster, I tried to look at the pictures but too many other greedy
people were on.

"This is what we expect to see when Belle and Sebastian have sold out to the
masses...Belle and Sebastian sold out." Corduroy Wilbur, my harsh and
abrasive alter-ego.






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