Sinister: A little change, and now I'm happy

[Fernando Brito]

Queridos Sinistros,

I've been so busy since my "fantabulous" first post (thanks, Bron!), I
wanted to post this earlier but I really couldn't find the time! I also
haven't read all of your twee letters, but I promise that I will, prolly on
this weekend. But first I need to tell you the news:

I had a date last weekend!

It was a blind date! Well, in fact it was sort of my first date ever! Not
that I never had a girlfriend, I just don't take going out with girlfriends
as being a date, it's simply going out, having fun.
But this time it was different, it had to be pleasant, I had to have
interesting stuff to talk about, I had to be funny.
That's what a date is all about, right?! At the first time we never know
what's about to happen, it can be very stressing!

So I decided we would go to an Irish Pub not far from my flat. I've never
been there, neither has she, so I was taking a huge risk of screwing things
up. You know, what if that wasn't an Irish Pub at all but a whorehouse or
something?! What would she think about me?!
Actually I've been observing that place almost everyday on my way back home
and I had an idea of what kind of place it was.
We got there about midnight, it was crowded and there was no table for us
to sit at, so our date started with the two of us standing in a corner, a
little squeezed among the crowd. It took more than an hour until we finally
sat at the counter, and another hour until we got a table. But it was
funny, it didn't matter because we were enjoying each other. Well, I was at
least.

Now guess what was our main topic during the night?
Music, of course!
Mainly Belle and Sebastian! What else?!
I must admit that I was the only one who talked about B&S, because my date
didn't know much about them. And I told her about Gentle Waves, and
adverted her to do not think I'm a sissy for loving Isobel's songs!

Now, do you guys think B&S is a good subject for a date chatting?
Alright, I'm sure you'll say yes!
But even if your date knows nothing about them?
Well, for me it was an excellent subject, for now she's curious about them
and I invited her to come to my flat to listen to my CDs!

Yep, it's Belle and Sebastian helping people to make moves!

Her name is Denise. She found me at ICQ, can you believe that? I've never
done this kind of thing, meeting people I haven't even seen before! We
talked a lot of times by phone but it took a while till we finally met.
She's cute: long black hair, big eyes... and I'll phone her tonight.
I haven't talked to her since our date! Not that I'm playing hard to get,
but I've been working a lot these days. The day before yesterday I spent 14
hours at work, I supose it was a record for me! Anyway, I don't have a
reason to play hard to get, I don't think we have a future, not as a
couple. I don't have an explanation for that, but I simply cannot picture
myself with her.
Weird, huh? Maybe it's denial!

But what really matters is that I changed. I'm so happy to be able to do
such a thing, to go out and meet new people.
I know it seems no big deal for some, but I'm so shy...
I think it's time for me to leave behind my shyness before I'm too old to
do the things I want to do. Although I left my mother's home and started
doing things by myself, I still don't feel that I'm taking control of my
life, I feel more like I'm actually just sitting and watching.

But when I was coming back from that date, I knew things were different.
Just a little, but they were.
And now I'm happy!

Ciao...


Fernando Brito



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