Sinister: Getting married in a rush, to save myself from being deported

Thu Feb 28 20:42:29 GMT 2002

...with any sort of luck, anyway. Hello again to you
wonderful people. I have turned into the worst sort of
lurker, and havent posted in a year, but lately many
things many people have written have moved me,
especially what Kirsten Kenyon said about milk and
vodka and baker bakers scent of fresh bread and
reflections on corpses and fear. Jenowls remarks
about her crushing school, which made me both laugh
and cringe. And Stacey Ds ability to remain calm and
even-keeled and even funny in the face of what cant
be a funny situation for her, really. And so now that
all is beauty and insight and reflection and turmoil
and uncertainty and impending deportation for me, I
thought I would post. I saw that Stacey writes as if
she has recently been deported from Greece; any tips
she can offer on deportation and what is involved
exactly where the rubber meets the road
deportation-wise would be appreciated. Two weeks ago
they told me that they would deport me last Tuesday,
but so far, nothing.

But this weekend I may have a date! (That is not a
Smiths quote, exclamation point notwithstanding). May.
Have. A. Date. This is exciting, since it has happened
through no fault of my own, other than that, although
the wider issues of the day continue to pass me by,  I
have recently stopped looking at the floor when people
talk to me, and instead stare deeply into their
beautiful pale green eyes and admire their glowing,
rosy complexion when they are helping me talk to
people who speak neither English nor Italian but only
Slovene while I am trying to buy a car stereo, an
event which would in any case be too difficult for me
accomplish properly in English, let alone Italian. She
saved me. Then sometimes this saving leads to a
bumping-into later at a club and then an asking for my
number and a promise to phone and then a date and then
an offer to marry me, you know, strictly to keep me
from being deported. (These last two are
extrapolated).

But I really need to find out more about this
deportation thing, in case the projected wedding falls
through. Have many of you been deported ever? The main
thing is, I dont want any Slovenian police forcibly
loading me onto a plane to the states. I would much
prefer to load my car with salmon and CDs and my
friend Peri, now that I have a stereo and dont have
to listen to Peri prattle on, and slip across the
alps. I like the idea of slipping across the alps in
any case, in a sort of Von Trapp family way. Peri (who
is also going to be deported, even more deported than
me, if there are degrees to it, if she doesnt find
someone to marry her soon) and I have tickets to the
Edinburgh show thats just a month away, so obviously
Slipping Across The Alps is choice #1. Peri is new to
B&S but is training up nicely. She sings along with
Stars of Track and Field. She comes to my apartment
with interesting insights on Seeing Other People,
which she shares over vodka. Lots of it, mostly.
Speaking of the universal solvent, at the massive
glittering palace of conspicuous consumption here in
Nova Gorica, Slovenia, one cannot find Stolichnaya,
for some reason, but *B&S Brand Vodka* can be had for
a frighteningly small sum. A pittance, actually, which
makes me not really want to try it. Maybe I will bring
some for pre/post-gig excitement, if any (!?!), in
Edinburgh.

Anyway, in the non-deportation scenario (we have other
irons in the fire besides our vain hopes of wedding
the pretty ones who look at us for no apparent reason)
is, we fly to London Stanstead two days before the
show and rent a car and drive to Edinburgh, sans
salmon. After that we will be in Scotland for a week
or so before we have to be back in Slovenia, if
allowed back. So I am hoping that many charitable
souls will make suggestions for how we
might/can/should spend the week--offers to help us do
same also accepted happily. Peri is hoping that we can
find some debauchery in Edinburgh and/or Glasgow,
and I am pretty hopeful myself, provided I dont have
a Slovenian wife by then. Also, since the Slovenian
music scene just isnt the same since Laibach
disappeared, we are hoping there might be other little
musical goings-on in the area while were there, that
is, if were not too busy debauching. Anyway, please
invite us both to any planned reindeer games going on
before/after the show. We are starved for
native-speaker contact, not to mention like-minded
folk. Is it all too pathetic? Thought so.

If any southerners would like to ride to Edinburgh
with us Saturday night or Sunday morning, let me know.
The car-hire thing is not confirmed yet, but pretty
damn likely. 

Michell Ruiz, as a seasoned Legoer of the first order,
I recommend that you follow to the letter the
suggestions of Ken regarding concentrating on a
pet-textured Lego pet. Maintenance issues would be so
much simpler, and really, pets made out of Legos, if
properly constructed, are just as affectionate as pets
made out of meat and hair.

Zivljenje je sladko!*

s. gazzetti

*Yet another non-Smiths non-quote, but rather life is
sweet in Slovene, which is a language, apparently.

Conectate a Internet GRATIS con Yahoo! Conexión: 
http://conexion.yahoo.com.ar
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+