Sinister: An answer to a question never asked.

[Christina McDermott]

First things first;
I need a cigarette.
Well, there goes one New Years Resolution. But do New Year's Resolutions
count when they're not made by you, but for you? My parents kept hinting
that giving up my blessed vice may be a good idea to make me a better
person for 2002. It's alright for them though, they no longer have to live
with me. I decided that for the good of University College London and all
the people I live with within my Halls, I had better keep smoking. After
all, people expect it of a Rock and Roll vixen like me.
So, Happy New Year Sinister! And a Happy New Year to all the people on the
list I haven't already wished it to. (Which will be a fair few of you
considering my phone decided it wasn't going to have me in my drunken state
wishing anyone a New Year until I had sobered up considerably, goddamit.)
If the way you spent your New Year's is the way you want to die, then I
have to say I will die remarkably happy and remarkably drunk, in the
company of those who I love best after an immensely amusing game of
alcoholic chess (all the pieces are comprised of shot glasses before you
ask. I got hammered because I hadn't played Chess since I was 12 and forgot
most of the rules leading to the Popvixen taking most of my pieces and
making me drink the rest of hers as penance.) The back step of my best
friend's house in Manchester has always been the focal point for many of
our adventures. It's a place where we go out to smoke, drink, laugh, have
picnics in the Summer to recover from Hangovers and lie in the grass
giggling and staring at the stars. On the stroke of midnight, we all stood
on the back step and looked at the clear night sky, said our New Year's
Resolutions out loud and hugged and kissed before going inside to watch
appalling Werewolf movies (It was called Ginger Snaps and it sucked). 
Call me a boring old fool, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.
And now I'm back in London, and there's a girl playing the same part of the
same Clarinet piece over and over and it's not me. I play the Clarinet, but
I would like to think that I'm not as annoying as this person who always
decides to play when I go to check my email. One of my New Year's
Resolutions is to continue being happy in London and attempt to make all of
those people I love happy in their own little way. Am I asking for too
much? I hope not. 2001 was such a horrible time for so many people, I would
like to think that they could be happy in my company and we could laugh and
smile and hold hands when the occasion warranted it. 
I'm happy to hear that there's going to be a B&S DVD (or something akin to
it anyway) coming out soon. It's times like this I wish I had a DVD
player...even a TV would be nice. Anyone in the Camden area wish to help
out a poor wee soul and allow some nice girlie (i.e. me)to watch Belle and
Sebastian when they're on the TV? 
The best thing about the Christmas Holidays has been that it's helped me to
remember how wonderful some things are. Sometimes, when you don't see them
or listen to them for a while or if you've just had overkill of them and
decided to leave them for a bit, when you come back to them you realise how
great this thing is and why you loved it so much in the first place. I've
just remembered how much I love Calvin and Hobbes after seeing some comic
strips on a friend's web diary. That and Tia Maria after going home to
discover that some nice person had given my mum a huge bottle of it for
Christmas (Bet you're sooo jealous, huh Hatchback? Thank you for the
Christmas Card too, even if I did only get it yesterday!) Being back in
Manchester allowed me to rediscover some old mix tapes that I made when I
was 15, hence me lying back and going on a huge nostalgia trip with eyes
closed and mind dreaming and wallowing in memories of past summers and old
boyfriends...until my little sister came in and kicked me with her new
Rockports because she wanted to test them out on some poor soul who was
both weaker and smarter than her.
So, I hit reality again in 2002. I've gained many things over the past
year...and also lost some things I never realised I wanted until they
showed themselves to me. And there my dears lies the crux of my New Year's
Resolution. To be a happier Miss Cola-Cube. I may fall down at times, but
I'll keep dancing.

Love and Resolute Resolutions,
Cay Cola-Cube
xXx

P.S. Ben Apps-How's it going with the lovely Miss Fruitloop? Remember my
Tootsie Rolls and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (with much huggles to the both of you
to boot)
 

 


"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your Revolution..."
-Emma Goldman
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