Sinister: "Life is a spectator sport"

[Sunset .]

  I think that is what you said? At least I think you said something like 
it.
Listening to other peoples songs, imagining them to belong to them, placing 
meaning where the writer neglected to place meaning, giving the words of the 
life of their own. Until eventually the song is truly owned by the 
spectator.
Or maybe you just meant my life?
When you are quiet, when you are shy, life becomes a play put on by other 
people. Something you could imagine being part of but never quite knowing 
how. I am certainly the viewer rather than the participant the majority of 
the time.
Or maybe you were just talking about how being a spectator could make you 
feel happy.
Like the time, quite recently,  I found myself sitting in a B&B getting 
excited because I can see a man knocking on the door outside a house and a 
man inside the house walking to answer it. At that moment neither of them 
could see each other. I was privelleged. I could see both sides of the door. 
In the fading light of the room I was in I sat and watched the silent view 
in front of me. I proceeded to give a commentary, explaining the biscuits, 
the cups of tea, the man who refuses the sit still for more than 2 minutes, 
to the girl sitting with me. I suspect she would rather have been sleeping. 
But I liked being a casual onlooker  and I wanted to share that with her.
Being a spectator, I think standing at the front of a gig is better than 
standing further away. It does make you feel a little bit silly and self 
conscious sometimes, but being able to hear a band speak to each other when 
they aren't using microphones and being able to watch is going on a the side 
of the stage, and to be able to look back and see almost the same view as 
the band, makes it better.
Accidentally sitting on the same ferry as a band is good too.  Watching 
people, who write the songs that have sort of become my own,  do normal 
things, made me happy.
At the same time it could have made me a little sad. Feeling guilty that was 
too much of an intrusion, knowing that songs don't really belong to me. A 
reality check.

But if you are a skilful in the art of spectating you can drift swiftly from 
harsh realities, settle back and begin to watch life once more.  Happy and 
content within a world where everybody else is also interpreting other 
people's lives through their own eyes. No reason to feel guilty.


Well, Take Care,

Rachel

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