Sinister: pass the parcel & milkshakes

[John John]

Boo

I was walking down the road with my friends at lunchtime, like any other 
lunchtime.  I don’t know what the conversation was about, probably something 
daft like sillybilly names for our children, and I noticed one of my friends 
turn his head round so he could look backwards.   He looked forward straight 
away again, with indifference, and my heart stopped… I knew what the 
indifference would have been about.

When I looked back myself, I saw a seagull lying on the pavement, right next 
to the road. I was so scared it had broken something.  He was shivering, and 
I tiptoed right up to him after giving my friends my bag, but he was in 
complete shock, and could not even bring together the strength to try and 
defend itself against me.  I picked it up gently, but my head was too full 
of sorrow to think straight.  I didn’t know what I was going to do with him; 
I couldn’t take him back to school, but my heart was breaking in the thought 
of leaving him to try and fend for himself, when he could barely move.

My friend came up to me and told me I couldn’t do anything about it.  I 
still had him in my hands, and I was trying to give it as much warmth as I 
could in a sort of cuddle, but I couldn’t do it forever.  I walked slowly 
across the pavement, past the grass, and into the unused field.  I padded a 
bit of the long grass down, tried to dry it, and gently placed the poor gull 
down.  By then he seemed to trust me, because he tried to make him easy for 
me to do whatever I had to do for him, yet I had to leave him.  I walked 
away, without looking back, and continued up to my school sombrely.  I 
couldn’t do more for him.

I couldn’t go down the same road again for a long while, because I would 
have broken down if he was still there shivering, or lying there dead, or he 
could have flown away.  Of course the latter is what I wanted, but the 
chances of it happening were very small, especially since it was very very 
cold.

Things that you have no control over, and will have a sad ending really 
break my heart.  Maybe I take the likely death of a seagull far too close to 
my heart, but there are other things that will end in tears that I know I 
have a say in though.  I decided just the other night that I will definitely 
be leaving home after the summer to uni, if I have the chance to, and 
against the will of some of my family.  My mother has been using every trick 
she can to try and convince me to stay, with emotional blackmail being the 
main weapon.  Just a wee while ago though, she said my sister will even be 
crying.  That really hit hard, because my mother – or my sister – don’t know 
how much I missed my sister when she moved out, even if only a few miles 
away.  I used to get the impression my sister was indifferent about living 
away from her wee brother, and wow, my sister will miss me.  I think I’m 
homesick already.


johnjohn

xx


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