Sinister: I love my space shuttle

['Baby face' Bambino]

Sinister,

Has anyone else heard the appalling rumour that Robbie Williams will succeed 
Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, agent 007?  My friends, we must take a stand.  
The time for liberal thought is at an end.  The time for action is now.  I 
propose that our organisation move underground.
I have taken the liberty of devising a four-plan strategy to avert this 
terrible tragedy from ever taking place.  But I warn you that each of these 
plans is more dastardly and desperate than the previous.  And not for the 
faint of heart.  I recommend that we split into four factions.  If faction 
four should fail, then faction three will go to work.  If faction three 
fail, then faction two will go to work.  Well, you get the idea.  Let’s hope 
it doesn’t have to go any further than that.

Def-Con Four
Operation: Dulux dragonfly
Faction four will be under-cover operatives.  They will infiltrate as many 
of the film sets as possible.  When the movie is being shot, they will use 
paint guns (and red paint) to repeatedly shoot Mr Williams in the face.  If 
James Bond appears to be fatally wounded in every single scene, it is my 
hope that film production will be cancelled.

Def-Con Three
Operation: Mutant monkey
Faction three will consist of a small research team, led by eminent 
geneticist and sinisterian Rachel (sunnie_set).  The objective of this group 
will be to develop a mutagen that will horribly deform Mr Williams.  If he 
had for example, a scrotum growing out of his face or a tail, it is likely 
that the Film Company would seek out an alternative Bond.

Def-Con Two
Operation: Weapon weasel
Faction two will gather intelligence, investigating the level of military 
firepower that is in the possession of current world governments and any 
weaknesses in their security that would allow hijacking or theft of such 
devices.  It would then be possible to demand that filming was immediately 
and permanently ceased and perhaps that Mr Williams was (further) 
lobotomised or even executed.

Def-Con One
Operation: Armageddon ark
Faction one will have the hardest task of all.  It will be necessary for all 
members of Sinister to donate as much money as possible for realisation of 
this final and desperate arrangement.  Negotiations will begin with the 
Russians and it is hoped that the acquisition of a large second hand space 
shuttle and quantity of nuclear weapons will be possible.  It will then 
simply be a matter of taking off, nuking earth from space and colonising 
another planet.  But, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

                                  Vive le revolution,
                                  Tim


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