Sinister: who's your daddy?

[Dirty Vicar]

Hello again Sinister,

Sunday evenings have their own ritual here in the vicarage. Basically, I sit
down, pour myself a nice glass of port, cut a slice or two of Slard, and set
to writing my week's Sinister post. If the post is good enough I might even
send it.

Ah, Slard. Have I ever told you about Slard? It's the miracle food of the
future. Slard (Sugared Lard) is a nutritious and tasty concoction guaranteed
to please all the families at all kinds of meal occasions. It offers all the
taste of sugar, all the goodness of lard. Slard - ask for it by name.

I saw two films last week. One was called "Tartüff" and was directed by FW
Murnau. It was one of them German silent films from the 1920s. I especially
liked the fact that the title character was an archetypal dirty vicar,
affecting an image of saintliness as a way of conning some sap out of his
money, trying it on with the sap's wife the while. I must give that kind of
thing a go sometime. There must be plenty of people with attractive wives,
more money than sense, and a need for spiritual guidance.

The other film was "Mulholland Drive", David Lynch's toptastic new film. I
realised a while ago that David Lynch is so far removed from the mood of the
filmgoing public that he is basically making films for me. He must have got
wind of my feeling that his last film "The Straight Story" was a bit too
nicey and mainstream, because this is a return to oldschool Lynch - you
know, surreal menace, dreaminess, odd plot twists and so on. My quick
summary is that "Mulholland Drive" is a film about Hollywood - the shiny,
glittery Hollywood of exciting intrigue and adventure, and the sordid
Hollywood of real lives, broken dreams, and broken hearts.

It also features Billy Ray Cyrus getting punched in the face. I was
surprised by Billy Ray Cyrus, he delivers an amusingly understated comic
performance in his admittedly brief on-screen time. Maybe he'll give up the
singing and become the man film directors call when they want a mulleted
meathead with a heart of gold to deliver slightly odd platitudes.

I think by now people saying that they are waking up to 'I'm Waiting Up To
Us' is a bit of a cliché, but it's amazing how much of a grower that song
is. I find myself humming it to myself an awful lot. I reckon soon I'll
finally give in and decide that I like it. And that I like the song too.

Grainne was right, my last subject line was a reference to the mighty
Warlords of Pez. They are this strange Dublin band who play gigs wearing
animal masks all dressed in, er can't remember, is it leather jackets and
cycling shorts? And they have someone onstage with them with a flipchart
which contains the lyrics to their songs (usually the same as the title of
their songs). One song is called 'Derek Davis In A Pound Shop With A Basket
Full Of Deodorant' (this might mean more to you if you were familiar with
Irish TV personality Derek Davis), another 'Fuck Your Partner Like A Zombie
Till Their Brains Come Out Their Head' (or something like that). I think
they're destined for massive mainstream success.

Is Chris Pez in Warlords of Pez? that would be cool.

big shout to James for putting the pictures of the Belfast gig up on the
web. now all will recognise the Dirty Vicar.

Well, time to stop typing, I feel like I ran out of things to say before
this message started.

Big shout to everyone who agreed with things I said.

bless you all,

DV




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