Sinister: Your life will be the death of me

[Laura Llew]

Four hours and seven minutes ago your Laura Llew brought forth on this list 
to write a new post, conceived in insomniac ramblings and dedicated to any 
single boys open to the proposition of being dipped in chocolate. Until 
shiny objects merged with newfound follies to engage her in a making of a 
friendship.com quiz, testing whether you or anyone so dedicated can long 
endure the notion of actually being intimately familiar with the tempestuous 
little wench. http://friendtest.com/viewquiz.php?account=Lleweth *

Naturally, the above quiz is littered with a multitude of mistakes but I 
suppose nothing would be truly Laura Llew if it weren't. It reminded me of 
the times when I had to come up with Ice Breakers for Group Therapy** and I 
would always choose my old standby of having everyone come up with three 
things about themselves and having the others try and decide which one was 
false. (Because I encourage lying and deceit. Afterall, I am a girl.)

Last week, I met another list member when I went down to Atlanta for a book 
conference. Yes, I've gone from Sinister Shy to Sinister Skank (and you can 
too for just three payments of $19.95! It's fast & easy - not unlike what 
you'll be in just 3 months!)  You probably know Jay from his adorably cute 
pictures of him dressed in an Eeyore costume on the photo page and I can 
assure you that he is nothing less than the MOST darling boy EVER! (and me 
with no pockets big enough to carry him home in!) Of course, he did accuse 
me of being a Sinister Con-artist with getting people to do things for me - 
like making mix tapes. No worries though - I simply had him read me a couple 
of Salinger stories to make up for such unfounded accusations. (I requested 
"For Esme' With Love & Squalor" just for you, Fairweather Farrell)  I do 
enjoy meeting up with people from here even if it's just because I randomly 
find myself saying things such as, "It puts Genital Herpes to shame!'

Speaking of meeting up, shame, and nothing at all to do with Genital Herpes 
- Maddie minxed,  "If you'd like to send us gifts to celebrate, you're more 
than welcome. Laura would like a puppy, books and chocolate. I'd like, you 
know, shiny stuff. Oh, and a hip flask, please."

Normally, I'd fight her over that hip flask but happily for Christmas I 
received a pair of Martini glasses with the following Dorothy Parkerism 
inscribed on them:
I like to have a Martini
Two at the very most
Three I'm under the table
Four I'm under my host

Oh, Maddie, don't worry - green *is* your color! As for puppies, I tend to 
like pets that are much like myself - quiet, slow, not too energetic or 
drooling, fond of naps, and cute in that pathetic sort of way. (Think Flash 
from Dukes of Hazzard). As for books, I like them the same way I like my 
nights in Tijuana - leatherbound.

This past week I was referred to as "GhostLady" whether this was due to my 
complexion, vanishing personality, or the fact I was ordering a ghost 
stories book from the publishingboy who called me this is debatable. It 
amused me nonetheless.

Hainting & haunting,
Laura

* If you get nine right, I'll let you read to me!
** I was studying to become a therapist. Little did I know what I was really 
learning was several neurotic tendencies which would later be appropriate 
for me to discuss in therapy of my own. Not that I have but I'm well stocked 
in any case.



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