Sinister: She appears composed, so she is I suppose...

[Christina McDermott]

What do you do when New Years resolutions decide to break themselves? 
 I mean, when you have the best intentions in the world to keep them and
you really
 honestly intend to keep them; but some malignant force, call it fate, call
it chance,
 strikes at you like you're a character out of a Thomas Hardy novel,
leaving you to stare
 at the stars and the sky and scream out loud, "God bless pathetic
fallacy."  "So why
 the pessimism now Miss Cola-Cube?" I hear you all cry. I have my
reasons.and I find
 them to be pretty damn valid considering the situation I am currently
finding myself in.
 I'm having problems at the moment and they're akin to being hit in the gut
with a
 sledgehammer, or at least that is what it feels like to me. 
 I don't want to go into much detail, as I've never been one of those
people to want to
 load her woes onto a thousand or so people. I don't know you and you don't
know me
 so why should many of you hear the collected woes of a woman living (to
many of you)
 thousands of miles away? 
 So please enlighten me as to what to do when the one resolution you really
wished
 that fate would let you keep.i.e. being happy and for those around you to
be happy, no
 matter what the situation, are smashed right in front of your face? When
words are
 said and the only thing you can think is "Oh my God, what am I going to
do?" and the
 only emotion you feel is an icy current running through your blood and
settling right at
 the base of your stomach that no warmth can thaw. 
 I'm sure Miss Llew would have a gloriously witty Dorothy Parker-ism to
alleviate the
 storm clouds in situations like these, or Mr. Chu would have a pun to
bring a smile
 when your expression feels carved in stone. Then again, I only got 30% in his
 personality test so maybe I don't know him as well as I thought I did. (I
got 0% in
 Gneissy's, but that's my fault for not knowing that he can fit into size
10 dresses.) 
 I can only say to those on this who know the situation that I'm currently
in and for all
 their kind words, smiles and phone calls leading them to get locked out of
their
 workplace a big thank you. You know who you are, and you know I'm
grateful. As to
 the lovely (and seriously mushy!) Ben Apps, tank choo for the sweeties.
They're going
 to come in useful. 
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * 
 Isn't it nice when your gig is promoted without you even having to breathe
a word about
 the forthcoming event? I was going to bore you all with the details and
death threats of
 "Be there or I'll kidnap your teddy bear and send it back to your in
stuffing-ridden
 pieces," but thanks to the lovely combined efforts of Mr. Carsmile and Mr.
Apps, my
 stage has already been set, so I'll enter stage left. 
 My gig is on the 11th (That's a MONDAY, not a TUESDAY) somewhere in
Oxford.Mr.
 Carsmile and the lovely Matt Wilson (who is also on the list but lurks I
the shadows
 like the wee lurky thing he is) know more about the venue than I, because
I'm merely a
 London girly and therefore ignorant about all things outside Zone 6. But
yes; do
 come. It will be fun! 
 My band are called the EndlessCityLights and we sound like what the Velvet
 Underground, Mogwai and The Shang-gri-las would sound like if they all
held hands,
 kissed in public, got drunk and indulged in illicit insemination with only
a turkey baster
 and a rather glamorous young girl with a clarinet (that being me). Support
comes from
 Welsh shang-a-lang drunken wonders "The Loves" who not only have the fact
that one
 of my best friends is their guitarist in their favour, but also the fact
that they're on Track and Field records which can only ever be a good
thing. Main act are Delicate AWOL,
 post-rock lushness with a bitter aftertaste. And there should be a club
afterwards and
 stuff too with me, Matt and some of our friends' dj'ing. 
 I don't usually shamelessly promote things via the Internet.but this one
involves me and
 it's just after the Brighton Weekender too (which I shall be gracing with
my presence. )
 and it's only £2 and it should be immense fun. Oh, and everyone should go to
 Carsmile's night too because that should be fun-filled-frolics galore. 
 I've been listening to too much old Elliot Smith recently. My lovely
friend Marianne
 leant me nearly all of his old albums, so I've been sat here back at home
in the
 sunshine, relishing the fact that I have nice food, a clean kitchen and
lovely parents to
 indulge in and listening to songs which shimmer in the sun like beautiful,
poisonous
 flowers. 
 Apologies for the self-indulgence before, but whilst I'm on a roll I may
as well add to my
 tally. Dammit, everywhere I go all I see are people holding hands and
being all couply in
 the Winter Sun. I either want a Sinister romance or more people to be
bitter with, as
 me and my friends are getting a bit fed up with being the only ones now.
Even Saint
 Peter seems to be on a bit of a roll now, and he's a bloody archangel. Any
takers for
 either position?    
 Right. This is perhaps the most self-indulgent post I've ever sent so I'll
bow out with a
 blush and the shuffling of my feet. 
 Oh but LIST CONTENT!! Jordi-If on the Benicassim Belle and Sebastian show
you hear
 a mad English girl and boy jumping up and down and singing rather
loudly.that'll be me
 and the boy in the tree. I can only hope and pray they've not broadcast my
interview
 with MTV yet. 

 Love and Fizzy Love-hearts, 
 Cay Cola-Cube 
 xXx 


"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your Revolution..."
-Emma Goldman
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