Sinister: Beef Wellingtons

robin stout stoutrobin at xxx.com
Fri Jan 25 14:26:28 GMT 2002


I saw a sticker in a car window this morning for "P Miller - Barry Island's 
second hand car dealer." So that's where he is.

"Belle & Sebastian announce gigs in Denmark". Oh if only they were playing 
Legoland. It used to be my ambition when I was little to visit Denmark 
because it was the Land Of Lego, and whenever we went to travel agents to 
get brochures on "Welsh Camping Holidays" I'd steal one about Denmark and 
flick through the pages under my bedclothes by torchlight. Mmmm, Denmark.. 
Oooh Lego.. Mmm.. Whoops!

It's amazing what you can do with Lego - 
http://users.erols.com/kennrice/lego-kz.htm. Belle and Sebastian could play 
Lego instruments and wear Lego hair and Struan could smash up his Lego 
guitar then put it back together again. They'd all ride onto the stage in a 
big Lego car, playing I Love my mecCarno

I love my meccano
I love my lego my technic and my duplo
I could even find it in my heart to love K'Nex


I actually had lots of relevant things to say, like a week ago, but now I've 
forgotten them all. Hmm. Errr. No still can't remember.

Well done Ken for finding out the name of the new album. It's going to be 
ace. Ken, if you're still bored at work have a look at Arthur Bostrum's 
website - http://www.arthurbostrom.com/ . You can even email him. Imagine! 
Emailing ARTHUR BOSTRUM!

You see the thing is, if you became a billionairre you wouldn't spend your 
money on swimming-pools like all the other billionairres, however expensive 
the tiles. You'd spend your money building a suit that would make you 
superhuman. Well I would. It would look like this:

Body armour made from diamond (the hardest substance known to man) which 
will deflect bullets, and will be shaped to look like I have big muscles so 
I look buffed.

Inside the body armour will be lots of hydraulic pistons and stuff to give 
me superhuman strength, and a supercomputer to do stuff like make shopping 
lists for me so I have more time to save the world.

"HP sauce or Daddies? What? Someone's trying to take over the world?! Oh 
god, I just can't decide. HP or Daddies?! Hurry up Robin. Grr!"

No, that could never be allowed to happen. Of course I'd need a super 
communications system operated by my secretary, Denise, so I would know when 
people are trying to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Rocket boots, of course.

Laser eyes, so I could fry the forces of evil with one stare. They'd need a 
safety mechanism, so they don't go off when I'm looking through the window 
of a chocolate shop or ice cream van or something.

A cape - fire resistant so it doesn't catch fire from my rocket boots.


What sort of superhuman suit would YOU spend YOUR money on? It has to be 
possible - no invisibility cloaks or radioactive spiders, mind; we all know 
the effects of being bitten by a radioactive spider are just too 
unpredictable. Peter Parker just got lucky.

Belle and Sebastian content, about 2%. Must try harder

Robin x
(you see I already have a superhero name)

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