Sinister: Part 3: I guess they'll never understand what we did on our holiday

[Dimitra]

This having to narrate things is hard. it confuses me greatly. The reason I'
m doing it.. The reason I'm telling you all this.


I met Will in Edinburgh on Sunday as I had promised, and we took some
trains -Edinburgh, Doncaster, Grimsby Town. The names of the railway
stations fascinate me, even though usually they are just the name of the
town/city. I make lists of the stations I've been to in my head. It's
something like trying to remember the tracklist of all the Belle and
Sebastian albums. In my head also I recite the story of the sleeve of If You
're Feeling Sinister. Once I did so out loud too. And sometimes I even
recite posts. Even though I usually only read them once. On the train down
to England I caught myself writing: "I don't mind trains. It evens out. I
like riding on them. I don't like having them pass. Someone said it's the
saddest sound."


The days with Will were much more quiet than the ones before them, but
actually that was a good thing. And they were sweet. And something I'll have
with me for a long time, and something that makes me happy.

We went to a Chinese restaurant with his parents after they picked us up
from the station; we had both been nervous and a bit scared of me meeting
them, but it turned out to be fine. Once more, I said to myself: things are
never as scary as they seem from a distance.

We went shopping in Grimsby, and to a dinner party where I met his school
friends. We had decided to try and not talk about Sinister too much, but it
wasn't of much use, someone asked 'so how did you two meet?', just after
someone had mentioned the word Internet. Later on we went into town, and if
you remember reading Will's Christmas 2000 post, you'll know what happened.
Will tried to go with the group who would meet Amy (a girl he used to be in
love and exchange letters with) but he tried not to make it obvious. Which
means he made it quite obvious. Which was funny cause nobody cared much
anyway.
I sat back in the loud and hot pub, where as he said 'we looked like
Sinister people, and stacked out' -which just reminded me of being in
Greece- and I watched him talk with that girl and be happy. I watched her
too, her eyes shining and her smile. And it was all so much like that
post -I wasn't on the list on December 2000 but I had read it. And thinking
of it now, it makes me think of how, when I was little, I used to make
stories in my head in bed; stories figuring me and children from the books I
read or the things I saw on television; how I always wanted to jump in the
books and actually meet them. And how much what is happening now is like
that.

We had what he called 'a Sinister Christmas' -what made it Sinister being
listening to Camera Obscura and talking to and about some of you. We stayed
inside. On the second day of Christmas we walked around the village. On the
third one, we went further away. We went to the beach, where, to my
surprise, the sea was brown. We played with his dad's digital camera, me
taking pictures of the beach and Will taking pictures of me. I remember the
bus ride back: we were sat on the upper deck of the bus, on the first row of
sits; it was raining, there was water on the windscreen which made shapes
blur, so all you could see was colours. When we came back we made badges,
some of which are already famous. Some others have sheep on them. On the
fourth day we went to Sheffield and me John Jennings, who probably thought
we were mad. But it's okay cause we are mad, and he seemed to be having a
nice time anyway. We wandered aimlessly around, text messaged a few people
to make them feel jealous or guilty for not coming, only to get replies like
'why are you in Sheffield?'. It was cold, windy and sunny in a bright way.
We walked around a bit more, had lunch, visited some galleries, walked
aimlessly around, and then decided to take the tram to the shopping centre
and back. Decided means we all said 'I don't mind either way' and seeing as
we couldn't think what that other way would be, we took the tram. Then we
walked around aimlessly -sorry, to the station. John's train was the only
one of the um 20 trains that were leaving at that time not to be late. Ours
wasn't one of them.

The next day, having run out of Christmas, and patience probably, and things
to do in and around Grimsby, we caught some more trains. Doncaster, where we
waited for an hour and a half in the freezing cold, but once again, it was
bright. There was some snow on the railtracks and our train was extremely
late. We bounced around to keep warm, and Will explained to me things about
train signals. We got to Edinburgh, rushed to his flat, dropped our stuff,
fed the cat, and run back to the station to catch a train to Glasgow. As we
were running, we heard a big noise, and I looked up, and saw the biggest
firework I've ever see through the stations glass roof. In Glasgow we went
bowling with Kirsten, Calumn and Richard. Richard drove everyone back to the
centre, after a while of driving around trying to find the motorway entrance
or something like that, while all three Jamie, Will and Richard giggled and
tried to read signs. We were listening to the Magnetic Fields. I mention
this cause I've been in three listee's cars this time, and two of them were
playing the Magnetic Fields. Does that mean something? We took a train back
to Edinburgh, where we spend the next day wandering around almost aimlessly.
We went to a photography exhibition and we bought presents for some people
on the list. And we concluded the world is unfair: we wanted to go on the
snow-slide, but we weren't allowed. We were too old.

I got a train back to Dundee.


On the last day of the year we took some more trains -Will from Edinburgh,
me and Rachel from Dundee, cause we had decided to see Beanz DJ. We arrived
in Glasgow quite early, so we had to wander around aimlessly. I almost
sulked, but then I decided not to. And it was a good decision. Rachel had
the phenomenally irrational idea to take the underground and go to the Tap,
the pub were we had had the pre-gig meet up. I thought it was crazy to take
the underground to somewhere we didn't know if it was open, but we did
anyway. And it was a good thing to do. We got tipsy, on the way back to the
underground station, the one after Hillhead, but whose name I don't remember
(Will says: Kelvinhall); I remember walking in the darkness and talking and
making them giggle, but I don't remember what I was saying. I remember
saying the Greek alphabet is better looking even though you can't really
write letters joint, but that was while waiting at the station.

We got the underground back to the centre, and it was still early, so we
wandered around more. We got chips and walked down by the river, and excited
I remembered it was the exact spot I had lied down on in July. We looked at
the river float and I thought it was already 2002 in Greece, at times like
these time zones seem weird. I tried to call my mum but it didn't work -not
that I minded. Then we walked on a river bridge, looked at the trains go by
on the next one -where trains running at 10:30 of the 31st December?- and
took some photos. We also tried to call John. This didn't work either, and I
minded a bit. But then. as I looked around at the city, frozen and shining
in the dark, I suddenly realised that, where I anywhere else, that was the
place I would be wishing I where. For a while, that thought was
overwhelming, it made me ecstatically happy.

We walked to the 13th Note Café just to wave to Cal. The girl that was with
him and Will seemed to have the same idea: they both kissed the glass at the
same spot, on of them on the inside, one on the outside. It looked as if
they had decided on it before! Anyway. We didn't like the music Beanz
played -at least I didn't- so we sat upstairs listening to some other people
DJ. But the music was a bit too loud and Rachel and Will were fairly shy and
nervous, and we didn't talk much. So Rachel decided we should take turn to
say stories. So New Year found me, glass in raised hand, telling the story
of how I got together with my ex boyfriend. I think the music stopped and
everyone clapped and cheered; I paused; we decided to go downstairs for a
while. Downstairs we found Cal, whom we hugged -then we hugged each other
too. Then we went back upstairs, but I think I forgot to finish the story,
and I did so much later in an all-night-café. But maybe I'm confusing the
stories I told. Anyway does that mean that I'll be telling stories all the
year? Cause I think I'd like that.


The next few days were quiet again. Me and Rachel stayed in Dundee and had
fun. We once drunk champagne in the morning; a boy had brought it: sometimes
boys have good ideas! We watched a few films, Gregory's girl being one of
them, and I fell over giggling when she told me that Gregory is the perfect
boy: he's happy, and has a good imagination. But thinking about it, she's
right. We went out for a meal with Rachel's last money -she had lost her
card- and on the way back, looking at the pavement, we were saying how
Dundee might not be as shiny as Glasgow, but it wasn't half bad. And how
being together was great. And that I'll move. And how we'll always travel to
crazy places to see Belle and Sebastian. And how we'll cry the day they
split up -'Well, you will", I said. "But you shouldn't. Stevie will make a
band, and Stuart will write a book". "Yes, she said, Stuart should write a
book". Then we looked at each other cause we know it's funny to talk about
other people's lives like that. And probably not right. But we know we don't
mean it really. And I hope they do too.

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