Sinister: dad fetch it.

Sun Jan 27 23:33:03 GMT 2002

idleberry just said:
"(sorry this was "hey, heres my life.." but I couldn't
think of anything more interesting to talk about apart
from me. )"

I know how.  how it.  is.

heer gowz.
...

I said to someone recently.  about how I'm not
actually as self-absorbed as I may APPEAR.  seem,
yeah.  I mean.  I don't, like, think: everything is
about me.  I don't.  but that I DO kinda think: why
ISN'T IT?  y'know.  they seemed to like it too.  as if
they knew what it was for meaning.

another someone suggested I be gay.  perhaps if they
had a proper argument.  I wouldn't mind one for a
change.

those packets of sweets named 'revels'.  or the sweets
themselves.  probably.  I always thought they were
called 'reveals'.  since.  they were different
[weren't they?] different things but that looked the
same, were the same [hum?] 'til you had bited them and
what they were was REVEALED?  I've never had any
revels.  that's off topic a little.  but I've never
had one of those either.  well.  why 'revels'?  are
they really that good?

revelations:
not always to be revelled in.  <-an opinion I have.

dimitra's lots of posts.  I liked them.  she said some
nice things.  some about me too.  I was bound to like.
 but perhaps a few too many?  don't you think?  you
know I think you do.  but I don't know what you think.
 I don't know I'd like to.  or I don't know; I'd like
to.  I was going to have part of one of those posts
here as a quotation and be making a remark or two on
it.  one of the bits I liked the most.  but I forgot
what it was and I cant find it now.  and I've looked
too.  I like them though.  she did well.  and I am
glad she reminded me I saw a fox.  I read it and
thought she'd got confused.  as I do.  as she does. 
well.  as I do.  then I remembered.  real remembering.
 something I'm not entirely familiar with.  not that I
can recall.  I can't.  yeah.  that fox.  the fox in
the middle of the road.  its eyes all for reflection. 
just watching.  me stumble onto a pavement.  and then
it darting under a datsun.

I went to that, like, cool national pop league
arrangement on friday.  it was fun.  like it should
be.  was complimented on a 'combination' I had.  I
thanked, of course; I'm polite & shit.  I can see this
isn't as it used to be.  I wonder if.
if I did this

no.

well.  someone told me that its best not to write
long paragraphs here because it means people are less
likely to read.  the whole thing.  I'm all for
adapting myself or my things to be more accessible to
all.  YERRIGHT.  I told them I'd do something sometime
that was without stops.  and they said fine.  but
short paragraphs.  to tell the truth: I was hanging
back so as to have someone else to copy; its easier
that way.  but it seems they might be hanging back
too.

submission.  as the last.  at last.  there's nothing
elsesubmit.  this is how it is in my thought.  I
think I may have confused it.  enough.  I fail to
submit.  doing myself damage.  making things not as
good as they might be.  making things more
difficulter.  eventually.  or immediately.  I don't
ever seem to do any work.  I should be doing work now.
 I should have been doing work for the last few weeks.
 or the last twenty years.  I'm not sure I've ever
done work ever.  worked.  but I usually end up with
work.  that is done.  but not as a result of any
actual doing.  my.  but because time has just been
allowed to pass.  I wonder if this isn't unheard of. 
I cant imagine it is.  work that happens not due to
work happening but due to time.  passing.  is how it
seems.  is.

I hope to be going to the czech republic next month
[if nothing else, this is notification for ailsa]. 
I'll be allowed to go.  if I do a lot of work in the
next week.  a week isn't a long time.  really.  unless
you're somewhere else.  butBLAHBLAHBLAHwork must be
done.  if I'm to go.  models and essays.  real models
in this case.  and crap dessaubahaus and
architecturetuition fact and opinion recorded.  hum. 
so I haf to rite about theez even tho it isnt liyk
itll lern me enything.  it mite akchooly stop sum
lerning.  & shit.  
as a girl I dont even know once said 'you know what I
hate?  writing.  no, what I really hate is reading. 
but if theres one thing I hate more than that it's
having to read something and then write about it.'. 
wisdom.

I'm a born complainer.  and what I really want to be
is a borne complainer.  in ALL SENSES.  or, at least,
all of mine.

yeah.  the national pop league was good.  I woke late
afternoon.  didn't eat for the rest of the daytime. 
did drink for the rest of the nighttime.  I get
thirsty.  and celebrities.  not real ones.  ones that
are there in my head and in the heads of a couple of
others.  that you see around.  ones that, if they're
not looking, you can point at and they may as well be
famous.  plus others.

people will move to glasgow.  lots too.  juicy lucy
[although I'd never really call her that really], the
velocity, the dahling, the gingerfox, the passer-by. 
others too.  by some accounts.  I could get excited.

zoe's mail: I offer only words of support.  I hope
they help.

I could make mention of 'the big lebowski' and of
friendtest.com.  alas my delayment makes me out of
time.  as usual.  so I wont.  any more.

I'm all done.
it's obvious.
BUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZ
love,
richard.

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