Sinister: One day my lo-fi-duffle-coated prince will come...

[Christina McDermott]

See this? :D
This is the symbol for me grinning from ear to ear like a total idiot. I'm
happy you see. In fact, I think I'm the happiest little cola-cube this side
of the M1. I don't know how long this is going to last before some big foot
comes stomping down on my five minutes of joy...but for now I'm so happy,
I've been jumping up and down around my kitchen and singing along to bad
songs on the radio and generally making my flatmates start to believe that
I've finally lost what little is left of my sanity. 
So why the all the happiness? Especially when my last post was so
pessimistic...well..let me start from the beginning.
Last night there was a (very) mini-Sinister meet-up in my flat to wave
James "Dancing-Hatchback" off before he went to Poland which involved Ben
Apps and the aformentioned Hatchback invading my room with a bottle of
vodka, a bottle of lemonade and two limes which is always a good thing in
my opinion. And I have to say it was utterly lovely. Mr. Apps impressed me
greatly with his drinks making abilities and made us all gag on overdoses
of saccharine everytime the words "Rachel" and "Fruitloop" were mentioned,
and sighing with big puppy-dog eyes looking whistfully into the future
waiting for her to come to London. Me and Hatchabck giggled and listened to
Broadcast and generally did what two kids who haven't seen each other in
ages tend to do which involved getting all excited about little things,
talking VERY FAST INDEED, wondering if Belle and Sebastian were going to
play Edinburgh and planning our adventures for the weekend of the "Great
Brighton Meet-up." Bless Hatchback, he was so excited about going to
Poland, even though he couldn't really speak the language and didn't even
know the name of the currency. However, it wasn't so funny when he laughed
at me because I didn't know that you had to catch a ferry to go to Poland
and your coach didn't just drive across the ocean. After Mr. "I'm a
supervisor at work now and therefore older and wiser (no honest) than you
two wee scallywags and so I'm not going to sit around and get drunk but go
home and read a training manual instead" Apps returned to his little palace
known as "The Bappsy Trotwood" (Thank you Ken Chu!)me and Hatchback sat
around drinking yummy Tia Maria, listening to John Peel and forming out own
little theory about life and Sinister. 
The thing about life, (well, maybe our lives anyway) is there are times
when you're in a certain place, or doing a certain thing...say like going
to high school when you're fifteen every single day, or being stuck in the
same old boring job for what may seem like years on end and it feels like
you're going to be there forever. Time passes, but at the same time remains
static because you know that in order to achieve anything else or do
anything exotic or exciting you're going to have to do this one thing
first, no matter how unpleasant it may be. So you go to school and do the
same old thing, but you daydream about how you want your life to be. In my
case, it was always getting out of Manchester and coming to live in London,
having my own flat, writing for a newspaper, having lots of friends who
cared about me and how I felt and were always there to go out or come round
for  a cup of tea, having an enviable CD collection and my own kettle and
toaster (no honest). I always wanted what I've got now. And now I've got
it, it's not that it's an anti-climax, because it's all just as lovely as I
always imagined it to be. It's just...that there are times when it all
doens't seem real. Every morning I wake up and just for a few seconds
expect to be back in my blue bedroom in Manchester. But I'm not. I'm in
London, and in Camden no less...the place I always wanted to run away to so
I could live in The Good Mixer and seduce Menswear when I was twelve. So,
sometimes my twelve year old self takes over and lets the nineteen year old
self have a rest. Just this twelve year old is finally allowed to do all
the things that she couldn't do before and she just goes slightly crazy and
gets too drunk and dances a lot and giggles madly with her other
reverted-back-to-the-age-of-twelve friends, like the Boy in the Tree.
That's another example. He's just got a new flat and so calls me up on my
mobile twenty times a day to let me hear the sound of his refridgerator
that he's just got working, or the sound of him jumping on the bed. Or
maybe just him running around the rooms like a maniac banging on the walls
of every room which is his version of "a guided tour" to prove that he too
has finally got what he's always wanted and can't believe it either. 
So maybe that's like Sinister. Some of us daydream about how we want our
lives to be...and some of us have finally got what we wanted when we were
wee, but can't believe it so run around like kids getting drunk and
giggling and generally having the best time that a bunch of kids can have.
That's our theory. And it made sense at the time. But maybe that was just
the Tia Maria. 
So, lots of hugs, peanut butter toast and cups of tea later, I found all
the bits and pieces that Hatchback couldn't find or just couldn't remember
that he'd brought with him and Apple Lollipop in mouth and practically
bursting from over-excitement, he bounded down the road to Poland and to
his own little adventure...whilst I went to Uni and learnt about
Montesquieu. Which is always fun.
And then I went to check my email and lo and behold what did I see? BELLE
AND SEBASTIAN TICKETS ON SALE!!! IN BOTH OF THE TOWNS WHERE I LIVE!!!
(London and Manchester) YIPPEE!!!
So, I've bought my Manchester ticket with money that I don't really have
and will be buying my London ticket when money I've rightfully earned comes
into my bank account tomorrow. So, the beaming grin on my face at the
moment is providing light and heat for most of my corridor and I'm really
quite happy now.
So, before I leave, a few more things to say.

a) Idleberry said something about how heroines should not just love sex,
but love guitars and record players and have adventures with them. I
thought that was wonderful. I don't have a guitar, but I have my clarinet
which makes a wonderful noise when you blow it too hard and my record
player is possibly the most beautiful thing I own and will ever own and it
comes with it's own suitcase too so I can have adventures with it. You
never know, maybe I will one day...(when it's bloody fixed because SOMEONE
mentioning no names :) played 80s Fan on it too many times).

b) Will Salt...you are a very wonderful and very brave person. If I ever
meet you I will lend you my make-up and my size 10 1960s dresses so long as
your shoulders fit into them and then proceed to give your pigtailed self a
massive great hug.

c)Amy Longcore said:- "My friend Christopher called me up and said, "amy,
we are relatively
attractive,
Smart and outgoing people. Why are we such social misfits in the dating
Department?" I still can't answer you, Christopher, dear. But I sure can
Relate to the roots of the questioning.
i'm just a misunderstood cherubic hermit anyway.
no one will ever find me."
I hear you there sweety. Don't worry, someday our
lo-fi-duffle-coated-floppy-haired princes will come. Until then, it's back
to drooling over magazines and old pictures. *sigh*

Is that everything? It better be...I have lecture in half an hour.

Love and sparkles as always,
Cay Cola-Cube
xXx




"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your Revolution..."
-Emma Goldman
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