Sinister: Aunt Sadie's - BIG DAY OUT! (a sinister journey)

[Alan Whyte]

Dear old Aunt Sadie (bless her) was traveling through paisley on her way to 
partick, to go shopping (she'd saved her pennies from making bacon scented 
candles). She got a taxxi into town and gave the driver a good tip. She was 
eating apples, though she liked oranges too, but the juice ran onto her 
lovely mittens. Glancing into the mirror, she thought about her appearance.

Sadie was a vain girl. She liked pigtails a lot, but thought brown was a 
mistake, but might make people giggle. Despite being lovely it was the wrong 
shade, there was another brown she loved more. "You look lovely Dahling", 
the driver commented as he dropped her off. "Well it's gneissy you to say 
so" replied Sadie "I like your taxi by the way" she added, returning the 
compliment. The driver fancied her, but feared she may be the wrong girl for 
him, a bit of a workmaid, and so he gave a polite carsmile, before driving 
off.

She arrived in town and idly picked berries and sweet tulips, before heading 
to the pet store. She looked at a turtle, a toad and a cute wiezzel, however 
Sadie was adventurous, what she really wanted was a lion. She loved all 
animals, but she had a passion for sheep today, though it could also have 
been a bear week. However, being the twee Godmother, her favourite creatures 
where foxes. She still liked her little black fox and the pinefox that lived 
with her. However, she also adored a certain pet ryan.

At this point, some random thoughts came into her head. She thought about 
going into space. However being 82 years old the velocity would be too much, 
and the G's would probably kill her. Sadie sighed. "I could never be a 
spacekid", she thought. She wondered if there were shops in space. "Jetmarte 
- a Wallmart on the moon!" she exclaimed. This made her giggle :O>

She left the pet store and went into a shop selling blankets. There was a 
lovely patchwork quilt, a paisley pattern she presumed, she liked it a great 
deal. Sadie then glanced at the price tag... "£250!, i'm not rich. or. am . 
i?" she pondered. Despite this Sadie was still tempted, because it looked 
really comfie.

She left soon after that and headed into the sweetie shop. She bought some 
nice honey, as well as hobnobs, cola cubes, fruitloops, crackers, cornflakes 
and bread to make toast for breakfast. Sadie loved toast and marmite and all 
things sweet.

As Sadie ate, she walked into the bakers. There were two, and both were 
nice. She bought a pie or two (one apple) and some pancakes. However, the 
baker shouted at her "OI! Ken Chu read?", which startled the dear old lady. 
Bewildered, she looked up at a sign saying "NO EATING IN THE BAKERY", which 
she thought was llwedicrous, but he was a bit of a maddie, so she didn't 
take any chances. He was petulant though, and Sadie wanted to give him a 
phatlip.

She ran outside and still shaken, removed a half bottle of Smirnoff from her 
handbag, cause she's infamously a bit of a vodkabird. She mixed it with a 
few pop's and afterward needed the toilet. However, she quickly found one as 
there were lots of loo's around. Luckily enough she only needed a wee, and 
not a PooOOOooo as she'd expected. As she walked over there was a baby 
outside in a pram. Being a lovely old dear, she couldn't help but look into 
the pram and say "pookie-boo". This made the baby giggle.

On the way home and after a lovely day, she listened to the Beatles, which 
helped her to relax. She put on her old favourites, "blue jay way" and "Lucy 
in the sky with diamonds."


Danke for reading, (it's been a while)
Alan xxx


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