Sinister: i've driven in the dark with echoes in my heart

[rrrrobyn]

sinister!

ohmygod, blow-by-blow descriptions of the queue for Model Behaviour!
how brilliant is miss marianna?! she is all class, but so very
hott&nasty too. (and david foster wallace certain *does* kick ass.
but does he *lately*? discuss.)

watching the footage of the queue and auditions for Popstars
(canadian version, bien sur) was one of my favourite parts of that
show. so painful, so elating, so entertaining. there's something to
be said for getting to watch emotion that you don't have to
participate in. the whole actual and for real 'dealing with emotions'
thing can really be draining. (i'm mostly being facetious here. but,
as usual, not entirely.)

the other night i finally saw the buffy musical episode. i fell off
the couch in amazement and didn't move until a commercial break. that
is how good it was. the floor was cold and hard. cold and hard like,
oh ferget it.

i finally bought the new wilco album 'yankee foxtrot hotel' (which is
the greatest title ever if you listen to the album with it's radio
code voice saying those words. yeah!) it's a fabulous album (i put it
in my work bag today with some other cds and thought 'y'know, robyn,
you're really only going to listen to that album today so why bring
all the others?' and i was right) and it completely appeals to the
small parts of me that are, in no particular order: hopelessly
romantic, depressed and wallowing in it, foolish. but really, a good
mix of things though. i'm a sucker for the mixed emotion, me. no,
that's not true. i mostly like it cut and dried and conveniently
pre-wrapped in cellophane with a big huge label declaring things
like: 'happy!', 'sad!', 'love!', 'unadulterated pleasure!',
'depressed with reason!', 'rad!', the list goes on. of course it
does. i guess emotion is kind of sold to us on many levels anyway
'these days', so this isn't as figurative as i'd like it to be. or
perhaps would not like it to be. am i supposed to sigh at this point?
i have no idea.

i also have the new (to me) sodastream 'the hill for company' (which
is so very sodastream and therefore makes me happy) and the new
russian futurists (which is only 27 minutes long, but a-okay!). also,
now i have no money! hahaha. i actually went to the record store with
the *express purpose* of buying mum tickets but they did not have
them in yet and then i looked at the new music wall and there were
all these things! 

and also! vilkas is my new hero. i've never met the girl, but she is
*great* and rawks and should form a 'flirty-yet-somehow-shy' group
with me and a bunch of other sinister girls (i'm sure you know who
you are, yeah). i don't know what this group would accomplish, but
ideas are fun to share, so there you go. maybe we will all just do
what we do and rock our respective houses. it's called rawkin' the
haus, yo. 

and, perhaps lastly, if only b/c i didn't know where to put this
paragraph: this whole weblog thing is worrying me. in a way i want
one and think it's cool and admire a lot of weblogs out there (even
though i feel all weird and voyeuristic, but that's an issue for
another email), but in another way, i so totally do not want one. i
think that maybe if i wrote it from the perspective of something
inanimate then it might be okay. but okay, anyway, why oh why oh why
did it have to be shortened down to 'blog'?! it's totally criminal.
does that word not just sound awful? i don't even want to say it out
loud. it has no grace. the 'b' with 'log', it's just not a nice
combination. and, really, 'weblog' is only one more measly syllable.
long live syllables! in a multi way!

um. that said. happy 4th of july to all you 'mericans! and have a fun
glasgow picnic to all you people over there of various nationalities!
robyn

=====
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright
~~~
Robyn Fadden    rfadden at yahoo.com    Vancouver, BC

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