Sinister: for your pleasure

[Robert Brennan]

TOO MUCH CHEESECAKE TOO SOON

The week started badly.  An attempt to force myself
into my suit trousers (bought 3 years ago) ended in
aching arms, a near hernia and ruptured kidneys.  Oh!
To be that beautiful thin indie boy again.  But then I
wouldn't have enjoyed all that beer and those pies.

Lose weight or shell out for a new suit?  Not sure
which would be the least painful.


OLD MONEY'S BETTER THAN NEW?

They never made a wedding list.  The invitation said
'we'd rather have your presence than your presents'. 
My mum mentioned they were going for a city break on
the continent as a honeymoon so I shoved some Euros
inside the card.

For those of you living outside the UK, the Euro's
been in the news a bit here lately due to the 'No!'
campaign commissioning a deeply offensive advert
comparing the single currency to the 3rd Reich. 
Tossers.  A country's worth is measured by its
culture, achievements and its contribution to the
international community - not who's picture it puts on
the money.  The Euro is BLUDDY GRATE anyway - I'd love
to be able to bugger off to France and not have to
change any money.


NO MENTION IN THE LATEST TRIBUNE

Loudly cursing all taxis, I arrived at the reception
late.  The groom hadn't seen me for about ten years
and barely recognised me with my beard and trendy
cropped hair.  She looked fetching in her waistcoat
and silk tie.  Back in 'the day', she was 'my cousin
Lisa' - about the only relative with whom I could have
deep & lengthy arguments on religion and science.  In
our time we've believed in both.

Now we're both grown up and she was celebrating her
commitment with Judy (Lisa & Judy - the recurring B&S
girl's names to give this post some pretence of
relevance).  Along with a hundred or so friends and
relatives who understood perfectly well that here were
two people who were truly in love - and that was well
worth celebrating with cheezy 70s/80s music.

The ceremony had gone swimmingly.  The celebrant had
spoken movingly about how mutually shared love was
real & good whether or not it was recognised by
religion or law.  At the reception I was saddened to
think of the number of people I had heard of (and
sometimes known personally) who opposed that
viewpoint.  People who truly believe that this kind of
love was 'wrong', 'sinful' or 'immoral'.    

Bollocks to them - they're just idiots.  The two
people who twirled in each other's arms while various
kids chased each other around during the First Dance
were the only two people in the world - joyously in
love for their families and friends to see.  Nothing
could possibly be wrong about that.


AND DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU:

Dancing with your mum to Robbie Williams.


Robster

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