Sinister: she's gone

[ian]

(hello everyone.  this was going to be a mail about something else, but then
it wasn't.  so it isn't.  such is life  xx ian)
-------------------------------------------------------------------


this is a cartoon, so the sails don't flap in the wind.
they waggle up and down, the ship pitches violently, and occasionally the
tide wobbles, as if it were moving.

it isn't very convincing.  but its enough for the boy sitting on the pier.
he's tired.

tired of many things.  tired of sadness, tired of dreaming... but, most of
all, tired of looking for his dog.
he lost her.  and he doesn't think she's ever coming back.


moving awkwardly, the way cartoon boys do, he pulls his knees up against his
chin and whispers

'she's gone'

to the breeze
to noone in particular.

he hopes that his words will be carried somewhere, to a desert island where
a sad girl sits all alone, dreaming of a cartoon lover.
but they aren't.  they sink, into the ocean, as such words often do.
(most of the time, this is fortunate.  it is the best place for them.
people who whisper words out to sea generally do not want a reply)

he remembers how they used to sit here together,  watching the same ship
sailing, day after day, going nowhere in particular, just pitching,
violently, and waggling its sails.

in his world.
in his magical cartoon world, where nothing ever changed.

and now?

'she's gone.'

he believes he can cope without her.  he even believes he might be stronger
without her.  but he'll never be the same again.

the sky shines the same pale blue it always shines.  sebastian stands,
stares out at the sea for a moment longer, and goes to meet his new friends
at the end of the pier, where he steps out of the cartoon, into the
sharpness of a Real World.

everything has changed, as it must.

and somewhere, on a long-forgotten beach, belle the dog licks idly at a
gentle wave before turning, and stepping gingerly back up the sand.

alone.  and, perhaps, happier that way.

ian



+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+