Sinister: Faking up to us

[Christopher Devaney]

I never thought of myself as the kind of person to get
emotionally trapped in a relationship, but that's how
i'm feeling right now.  She's not seemed on top form
for months, now she's broken down and having to see a
psychiatrist.  Suddenly i am her rock who cannot live
without, despite the fact she has an annoying tendency
to treat me like shit.  But i know it's not really her
treating me like shit, it's the drugs she's o. 
They're supposed to have calmed her down but they've
sent her spiralling into a pit of despair if anything.
 I cannot seem to say much without it being
misconstrued and thrown back at me, and it fucking
hurts, whether it's the drugs talking or not.  I can't
leave her because she needs me, and i know all the bad
things are just because she's ill.  But I don't know
if i can keep on pretending i'm strong enough to cope
with it all.  I feel like shit, and i'm starting to
resent her, which isn't fair on her.  I love her, and
always will, but if she keeps throwing stones
eventually one will smash the glasshouse.  
I missed Peel Acres.  Shit.  I am an idiot.  Anybody
willing to make me a minidisc or CD copy of it if you
taped it, or know where i can download it off the net?
 I'll be your friend forever.
Big Love, Dev

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