Sinister: Stop!

[stout robin]

Hammer Time!!!

REPORTING BACK

It's good to hear the California picnic went well.
It's nice to hear Rachel isn't too embarassed to show
her Bapps in public. I'm sure it wasn't half as
glamorous as the Birmingham picnic last weekend,
though...

On Sunday afternoon I rode into the Wild West Midlands
on the back of my faithful horse, Skoda, with my
friend, Poncho. Using Poncho's Apache tracking skills
and my mobile phone we met up with Sheriff Ian, Deputy
Jim and his sinister posse in a sunny field where some
Indians were playing a game Poncho calls "Kri-Ket".
Ian laid out a blanket, which he appeared to have
stolen from the dog, and we tucked in to our wine and
crisps and cherries. Those dang cherries; there were
so many. Everyone had had the totally cool no one else
will think of this idea of bringing them along. So we
sat, chewing the fat and the cherries, while Jim
played some funk on his strange automatic banjo, and I
tried to spit cherry stones into the grass without
losing my cool or my 10 gallon hat. We talked about
all sorts of stuff, Ian's eyes welled up with the
memory of a girl called Kylie, Dimitra was ambushed by
an unsuspected cream attack and Poncho talked about
going for a local Indian dish he calls a "Bol-Tee",
but in the end we just got a bit drunk and went home.
Hi ho Skoda!

Well something like that happened, anyway. I was a bit
knackered from lack of sleep, but it was fun anyway.
For the next one, we'll probably be able to arrange to
meet by the cherry orchard, we got through so many.

NANCY DREW

As I walked to the postbox this morning I heard some
strange screams sounding from somewhere over the
chimneypots. I don't know what it was. I thought it
might have been a baby or an enthusiastic girlfriend
or someone who'd found a slug in the washing up bowl,
but it might have been a MURDER. If I was Nancy Drew
I'd have gone and investigated, and had some crazy
adventure, but I figured my toast would have popped up
by now so I just went home to eat it. I've been
wondering about it all morning. I hope it *wasn't* a
murder.

TOAST

On the subject of toast, the toast fans among you
might remember I mentioned a while back an amazing
invention I saw on telly once called the Toaster Bag.
Well a friend of mine found some for sale at the
weekend and bought them for me. I'm quite excited.
They've cleverly called them "Toastabags - The amazing
way to cook", and the idea is that you can put just
about anything you like - beans, scrambled eggs, your
brother's hampster - into one, put it in the toaster
and when it pops up you have an instant meal IN A BAG!
Suggestions on the packet include CHIPS and CHOPS!
Wow! Imagine the amazing adventures in cooking I could
have! Adventures in food poisoning, more like! I'm
going to try beans tonight. I'll tell you how it goes,
if I'm still alive...

BISH

Robs email a while ago about the wedding he went to
was quite touching:

<<Bollocks to them - they're just idiots. The two
people who twirled in each other's arms while various
kids chased each other around during the First Dance
were the only two people in the world - joyously in
love for their families and friends to see. Nothing
could possibly be wrong about that.>>

Absolutely. Love isn't about men and women, it's about
Something Else, and the way you button your shirt
really doesn't matter. Hopefully, now we have a new
Archbishop of Canterbury, who seems a pretty decent
chap, the laws against two people who love each other
getting married if they're the same sex will finally
be changed. It all sems a bit silly to me.

LAVERNE

Mmm! I love Lauren Laverne! Hours of Lauren Laverne on
the telly have been steadily increasing lately and I
noticed in the paper yesterday that she's getting her
own music show on Channel 5! Hooray! I've always had a
bit of a soft spot for channel 5, the bastard runt
baby of ITV that it is, and not just because they show
The Ups And Downs Of A Handyman three times a year. I
like it because they don't have anything to lose, so
they actually TRY new ideas, and I find them endearing
when those ideas spectacularly fail. I like the way
the programme announcers are really ironical when they
have to announce Confessions of a Windowcleaner again,
too. So I hope Laurne's show is good. Well how can it
possibly not be, with her in it??

Blimey! I should do some work...

I haven't even mentioned a certain band, have I? I'm
going to try to record the session from the internet
tonight, so I'll save that for tomorrow.

bye

Robin xxx

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Everything you'll ever need on one web page
from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts
http://uk.my.yahoo.com
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
 +-+               Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut!                +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+