Sinister: In spite of not wearing specs...

[Fernando Brito]

...I can't focus.
I feel like I lost my specs.
It's about concentration... I go to work, but I'm not there. I went to an
IBM course last week, I wasn't there.
Guess how much I learned!
Guess how much it costed!!
Lately it's been her, but I met her just a month ago, and it began around
February.
It comes from farther in the past. Maybe 1997, when I entered the wrong
college. Maybe 1985, when I entered school. Maybe it's because of our
national educational system. They let you go out of school even if you have
nothing but Fs. So I didn't study at all.
That's why I'm stupid and my posts are crappy!
Maybe it's because of my mother... She gave me everything, she did
everything for me and to me.
Maybe it's because I was cute (I'm not cute anymore, so you don't have to
puke!)...
people used to like me, so... I never had to work hard, I never had to win
anything!
Not even (ok, now you can puke!) the girls!
So I always took the easier path.
There was always someone to make the choices for me. There was always
someone to work for me.

Now I'm being born.
First I thought I was her son, but I was born before I met her.
So I thought I was the son of my career, but I was born for the streets as
well.
Am I the son of life?
Am I the son of 2002?
People talk about 1968 and forget about 1969.
I will never remember 2001 -
with planes crashing into buildings, with people plunging from the 100th
floor while I was having lunch in a restaurant, with a useless war (was
Afghanistan a war? I call that counter-terrorism) -
the same way I will remember 2002.
This is the year I was born.
This is the year I left my plastic bubble.
This is the year I found you, sinister.

Now that I'm living, that I'm alive, I have to work. I have to choose. I
have to say no. I have to cry. I have to LIVE.

And now I found out what is the best thing about being alive...
I'm never ready!
Everything is new and unpredictable.
It's SOOO much funnier this way!
I used to think I was ready for anything!
HA! Poor little kid!

So I guess I know why I can't focus...
I'm 7 now!
I want to go out and play. I don't want to stay at home or at work, I want
to have fun!
I want to dance, I want to make new friends. I want get get drunk and
stoned...

And I wonder how my pubescence is going to be!

Kisses and hugs,

Fernando Brito

Post's soundtrack: "3" by Prozac+ and "Biggest Bluest Hi-Fi" by Camera
Obscura

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