Sinister: Thunderboys, Melting Ozzy

[Michael Ashbridge]

I was wondering if I was the only one who watched that travesty last night, the 
"Party at the Palace". And I was so looking forward to it. So much so that I 
hadn't even bothered looking at the guest/playlist. I just assumed it would be 
top-notch pop entertainment. Oh dear GOD was I naive. My EYES, My EARS! 

Does Mr B. McNeill need his ears syringed? On what planet would Brian Wilson's 
performance be regarded as faultless? Does Mr McNeill not realise that Wilson 
turned into a Thunderbird puppet years ago? He stumbled on to the stage, all 
awkwardly controlled strings, extremely puzzled, not quite able to get his 
bearings, surprised to find himself expected to perform Good Vibrations for the 
Nth time and not at all expected to sip his camomile and a nice nap, more's the 
pity. 

So he sat behind his piano, looking very dapper indeed, and proceeded to murder 
four Beach Boys classics, somehow managing not to hit a single right note on 
any one of them, reading from the autocue in a manner that makes Bush Jr. look 
like a great orator. His backers -- Eric Clapton, Andrea Corr, and Emma Bunton -
- looked terrified that he was about to pass-out at any moment, or perhaps 
stand up and call loudly for his nurse. 

I know. I'm being churlish. But a little of it *is* excusable. I'm not 
complaining that they didn't have Belle and Sebastian, or Hefner; it was the 
Palace after all. I knew it was going to be Establishment and nothing more. But 
how come Wilson got to come on and stagger through four pieces of well-worn 
Americana and Ray Davies gave one extremely respectable rendition of Lola, and 
disappeared? Talk about feeling short-changed.

Wasn't this marketed as a celebration of British music? Is it just me? Why was 
everyone performing Motown? Don't get me wrong; I love Motown. That's precisely 
why I don't want to see Will Young castrate Heard It Through The Grapevine. 
Jesus. 

I read Sir George Martin was in charge of the festivities. Perhaps that's why 
Bowie was no where to be seen. Perhaps that's why there was so much fluffy 
dross. Did music not happen in the 50s and 80s? I'm not sure about the former, 
but I'm damn sure I remember some great, epoch-defining music from the later. 

I'm don't want to brownnose Macca, but it was shameful that he was so easily 
able to steal the show. Ozzy was great, but even he didn't know what he was 
doing there. The cynic in me wonders how much money changed hands between the 
organisers and whoever owns At Home With The Osbournes. 

I read some reviews in the papers. The Times lavished praise all over it, as 
did most of the broadsheets, natch. Only the Guardian called it for what it 
was: "a dress rehearsal for the next Royal Variety Performance."

I suppose it was worth *something* to see Ozzy arm-in-arm with Cliff Richard 
toward the end. If any one image could encapsulate the my sense of ennui, 
that's it. The self-confessed Prince of Fucking Darkness singing along to All 
You Need Is Love with Cliff, smiling beatifically at one another. 

I suppose that was worth something, too. The end. I was almost prepared to 
forgive them their sins during Hey Jude and then those beautiful fireworks. 

++ LINKS ++ 

Playlist:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/jubilee/story/0,11550,727280,00.html
Guardian concert review:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/jubilee/story/0,11550,727289,00.html
The Times concert review:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-316439,00.html
Offical BBC Brainwashing Propaganda:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/music/newsid_2022000/2022060.stm


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