Sinister: just to say thank you.

[pulu xxx]

hello,

i wanted to thank everyone who wrote to me
(about that broken heart thing). 
it feels good to know that there are
so many kind and caring people around. so thank you:).

well, i´ve only had 2 horrible days this week. one
morning i just started crying uncontrolable and
couldn´t stop. mum asked what´s wrong and i said
nothing. then she said there must be something, cos
you don´t cry like that without a reason. so then i
told her that it´s just about him. she comforted and
said ´oh you´ll find another boy´. 

some of you thought that i´m quite young, but i´m over
twenty though. and yes this was my first big love. 
i used to be so embarrased, cos i was already 20 and i
never had a boyfriend, but it was stupid though, cos i
know now that there are lots of other people of my age
who never have had a boyfriend/girlfriend. i don´t
think it´s strange. i know what it´s like when you
feel a bit insecure and don´t know what to say and
when you think of something to say, the moment has
already gone. and i know what it´s like when all your
friends have boyfriends and don´t want to go out with
you.

i´ve been sort of practising to think about other
boys, sometimes it feels good, but usually it doesn´t,
but i know that eventually it´ll feel good. there´s
this one boy at uni whom i´ve been kind of
´looking´:). 
he´s blond, skinny and very tall. i think he looks a
bit like some greek god. he has this poise that makes
him look, somehow, so noble.
once, when i was surfing on the net, he came to sit
next to me! i was so happy and couldn´t stop smiling.
so i went to b&s´ homepage incase he´d know them, he
might say something to me. but he didn´t say anything.
oh well, maybe next time. 

yesterday i watched this movie ´things i never told
you´. lili taylor is in it. (i think she´s pretty.) in
the movie she gets a phone call from her boyfriend. he
wants to split up with her. then she (lili) starts to
make these videotapes for him, where she tells how she
feels. she tells him this joke, which she had been
saving for the day they´d meet. and i thought that was
so funny, cos i had these 2 jokes that i was going to
tell him when we
would´ve met. i told him the jokes on the phone
though, and he laughed. then i told him that i had
seen a woodpecker for the first time in my life, just
a few days before we split up. he said he hadn´t never
seen one. that i miss the most, cos i could always
tell him about things like that that other´s would´ve
thought maybe banal and stupid, and would´ve laughed,
but he never laughed. he was always interested.
ok, no more about him, i promise.

i can´t wait to go back to uni. finally, after 3 years
i managed to finish all those courses that i should´ve
finish during my first year:), but i´m so motivated
now to study more. i even passed my grammar exam. i
got 2-! which means good! it´s grammar! 5 people
failed though and i was certain i´d fail, but i
didn´t. 
happy pulu:). 

i haven´t bought ´storytelling´, cos i just bought
this trembling blue stars cd `broken by whispers´.
there´s one song that reminds me the cure. and makes
me want to listen to them. anyways, i need to save
some money, cos i have to buy a new camera.

i´ll stop now. thanks again :).

yours,
puluxxx


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