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[James Danson-Hatcher]

           Only started happening a few days ago. First I thought perhaps 
I've just become fixed in a find of "got-pissed-quite-bad-last-night" sort 
of peacefull daze, then I've been sitting around in perfectly normal places 
and having these brightly coloured moments where a smile spreads over, not 
from feeling I should but that there is genuine hope that my dreams WILL 
happen if I push hard enough, as this is not always something controled by 
us, and from realising my world is actually quite as beautiful as I tell 
myself. I knew that all along of course and was very grateful, it was just 
very hard to see and enjoy.
    My sister and I had a conversation and she clearly could see how 
delicate a situation it is to enjoy this as I've no idea how long I'll be 
above the clouds this time.

     Delftware sky and melted tar on the roads.
  Summertime that I always think of on down days could happen soon and 
against all good(village folk) advise, I will be in London as of next month. 
I'm thinking that I'll have so many people around me and be unable to have 
empty months again, I barely think I'll have an empty moment, look!I'm 
smiling up to my eyes again.
I've even managed to shake off a silly concern I've had.
   It's of writing with blue ink and is a very awkward thing have worrying 
you.

     I think I can say it:  I'm getting over the empty feeling and over the 
lonely one too, think I could let stuff touch me again.
   I also think I could really love someone too.
     That should be nice.
         No, actually that would be the best thing ever. James
                                                         Danson-Hatcher

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