Sinister: Bog on stilts

kchu at xxx.uk kchu at xxx.uk
Tue Jun 11 15:26:24 BST 2002


The end is sowing seeds
Your Insides torn apart
This is when you'd need
The boss of Kwik-e-mart

What is the gap between the floor and the bottom of toilet cubicle walls for?
Is it really for passing toilet paper between cubicles, in case the unthinkable
happens when you run out of toilet paper after a poo?  Or is it for spying on
other people?  Is that why the toilets in our office have marble floor, that
reflects?  Is it a lack of forward planning or was it the delibrate work of a
devious, perverted interior designer?

And how inconsiderate are people to choose the cubicle right next to yours, when
there are plenty others available?  Excuse me sir but maybe I don't want to see
your silhouette of your distorted poo-pushing face!  And now I have to control
my flow to keep the volume down, or else I just know that I'll be walking out at
the same time as him, and he'll tell everyone and I'd be known as the "Plonk
Plonk man" of the office forever just for dropping heavy poo into the WC.

Of course none of these are as bad as two summers ago when I was in one of those
cubicles having a quiet poo, and I had the pleasure of being the spectator of a
man shooting an aeroplane inside the next cubicle.. it wasn't very nice.

>From the scatological to the sartorial.. Miss Marianna talked about outfits, and
the need for not wearing the same clothes twice, and following the examples of
Nicole, of Popular fame.  But I would have to agree with her friend instead,
that everyone should follow the examples of Dr Quincy M.E., of Quincy fame, and
wear a brown suit that you'd never ever change, and just see how well-respected
he'd become!  Most well respected figures do it too, see Superman, Spiderman,
Obe-wan Kenobi.

Saying all that, I would change more often if, for example I can afford clothes.
I wore a very nice T-shirt last night that had four monsters on the front, with
the word "monster" written underneath.  Then I danced to really terrible music
in a club in Milton Keynes, to celebrate my Birthday like a soul boy - I even
did some soul dancing, and also had a DANCE OFF with this guy who was quite a
dancer but I think my DENILSON DANCING routine blew him away, or maybe he just
walked off because I trotted on his toes.

I should have stuck with graffiting in Hackney.. and yes, ANNA REALLY DOES SUCK
JiZZ!

Ken
* DENILSON DANCING is based on the Brazilian football player Denilson, who
always does this trick which is like a funny version of the Can-Can over a
football.  Roy Atkinson calls it a "lollypop", because he's a weird arther
trucker.

P.S.: The Dirty Vicar said:
> Apparently the Pinefox fancies himself as a bit of a scrapper, so
> if you fancy a fight the Palace is the place to go.
It's no joke - I've seen him fighting in a club in Glasgow last year, Lennox
Lewis eat your heart out, he was a ferocious arther trucker.

P.S.2.: Thank you David Moore for the beautiful song!




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