Sinister: The fumblings of a shy girl

[Jill Henkels]

Oh how quickly she returns after tasting the sweetness out of the nursery 
for the first time...

last week i had the pleasure of attending an elbow/doves appearence in the 
fine city of minneapolis, minnesota, usa.  eagerly anticipating the event, i 
arrived early as some novice to concerts would (which i promise, i am far 
from).  much to my disappointment, those in charge at this get together 
failed to recognize me (as i am unmistakeable with my brown hair, 5'9 frame, 
and glasses) and forced me to wait in line with the casual music listeners.  
scoff.  i muttered that they would feel rather embarrassed when someone 
whispered my status to them.

arriving to a show solo tends to generate some buzz; i think that it makes 
others uncomfortable to think it possible for one to feel entirely 
entertained standing alone.  the reaction to such an event breeds two 
results:  1. people will push/shove away from the individual in fear that 
the "loneliness" will spread; and 2. they feel responsible to awaken the 
individual to her obvious state of loneliness and will save her by asking 
her ridiculous questions such as "so...are these guys any good?"  well, of 
course you fool, i did, afterall, buy a ticket unlike yourself who won your 
pass accidentally while trying to score tics to a disturbed performance.  
and so, i was left alone again.

(the bands were nice, but this is not part of the story.)

for the doves performance, i elected to view from the back. i spotted a boy 
sulking next to a pole and was instantly drawn to him. he was a prime 
example "eye candy" and was "all that and a bag of peanuts." i casually 
arranged to be plastered next to him as the crowd surged. i resisted the 
urge to run my hands through the mop of auburn curls and instead whispered 
in his ear, "i must insist that you tell me whether you are sullen or simply 
bored." "tired" he replied. never was such a word uttered by a more 
beautiful creature! i had been proven wrong: love, it exists and will be 
mine to own.  so i did what was only natural:  i casually rested my 
fingertips on his knee and slowly slithered them up his thigh.  okay, so i 
didn't really do that, but in my mind i did and it was great.

as the doves section came to a close (they were great, tight) the inevitable 
decision had to be made: should i choose to casually walk out with the boy 
of my dreams or rescue my petite bladder in the women's restroom. alas, the 
bladder soundly defeated true love yet again. that's all right, he probably 
doesn't like belle & sebastian anyhow.

whispers of goodness,
jillianne

ps. i have no quote but will research one for your enjoyment for my much 
unanticipated next post.

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