Sinister: The day rose in the East, and started walking

[Gardiner, Stuart]

Oh well, time to start supporting Spain then...


For those of you who have been enjoying my recent abscence from the list,
sorry, I'm back in the UK now. For those of you who have been missing my
contriubutions and my sparkling wit and repartee, you really should get out
more.

Truth be told, I've spent the last month and a half in Central America (note
to Americans on the list: that does not mean Kansas). Diving in Honduras,
climbing active vocanoes and ancient temple pyramids in Guatemala, boating
down canyons in Mexico, and snorkelling with sharks and stingrays in Belize.
And very nice it was too.

Anyone who is feeling jealous will be happy to hear that I am currently
tired, jetlagged, insect-bitten and feeling very cold at being back in
England.

True story time. In the villages around San Cristobal in Southern Mexico,
Mayan traditions are still followed closely. These used to involve people
who went to see the local shamans for help being given an alcoholic maize
drink; it made you burp, which is supposed to expel evil spirits from the
body. A few years ago, the shamans realised that they could get the same
effect much cheaper (and without getting their clients drunk) by giving them
CocaCola instead. Before long, Pepsi got in on the act as well (the two
drinks are omnipresent in Latin America). So now, the different local
shamans are all sponsored by either Coke or Pepsi, to use the appropriate
drink in their rituals.

The final results of the beer quality table:
1st - Belikin, Belize (quite a bit of flavour, almost tasted like an English
beer)
2nd - Port Royale, Honduras (very refreshing in the heat by day, and
alarmingly intoxicating by night)
3rd - Gallo, Guatemala (a bit too watery)
4th - Corona, Mexico (the only flavour comes from the bit of lime you stick
in the top)
5th - Budweiser, USA (obviously)
Looking forward to meeting up with friends tonight and having proper beer
from a proper pint glass at last.

The other debate was which was worse: catching a local bus in Guatemala,
with 75 other people (believe me, I counted once) on an old US school bus
that was obviously built in the times before the invention of suspension; or
trying to change planes in Miami airport, encountering the unhelpfulness and
sheer incompetence of both the staff and the people who tell them what to
do.


In a vain attempt to add a bit of content, I notice that since I've been
away, B&S have managed to release an album, lose a band member and drop
their record label. Not bad going. Still, their fame is growing all the time
- I walked into a bar one night on an island off the coast of Honduras to
hear IYFS playing over the speakers...


Spotted in the newspaper yesterday: The Court of Appeal in London has ruled
that a sacked postman who sent his request for an industrial tribunal by
first-class mail was wrong to expect it to arrive the next day. Don't you
just love this country?

Big Stu



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