Sinister: a stupid soap-opera

[hannah brown]

I haven't been writing lately, mainly in fear of list abuse, dullness or 
general unreadability but today i don't care, i've got to talk or i might 
just cry.

I went to my college bar on friday in the intention of seducing a 
particularly cute bloke buy the name of alec. All was going fine, i was 
drunk on champagne and he was chatting to me about things and smiling as he 
did. Knowing that he was going to leave the country for two months i decided 
to just to do something about it. I led him outside and tried to kiss him, 
he just froze and wouldn't look at me, it was raining hard so i had to 
squint through my wet glasses (hardly and attractive look). I tried to talk 
to him but he just said, "sorry, i am a bit weird", he didnt even want to 
see the tindersticks and said he would be "busy packing",i told him i 
thought he was lovely and i he just ignored it. so i did that thing where 
you go home and you cry and you want to die, coz i have liked him for sooooo 
long and i just want to make him smile. But my flat mate was great to me, i 
was a blubbering mess so he gave me a tape and told me to listen to it in 
bed and try and cry lots coz it will help, and it did.

I went to the tindersticks and it was truely beautiful, the weather was 
perfect and although it would have been great to have someone to squeeze 
when the excitement of the opening chords to "she's gone" came on, i was 
glad i was there with my friend. they played "jism" too, a fine, fine song

I have seen alec today and i wanted to apologise but i couldn't breath very 
well, he was wearing a very cute jumper, i think he may have run away now 
that he has seen me.

i am sorry about the self-depressing shite of that but i just had to talk, 
and i won't mention it again, it has just made feel stupid and a bit sad.

Hello to everyone who i saw on saturday, i hope breams got home ok too. I am 
going to make the effort to come to a scotland picnic coz it would be good 
to see some more of you all and i won't post again until i've got lots of 
musical/b&s related stories to amaze you with.
   love and stuff hannah b

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